the other side of the mountain

During my hippie gym yoga class earlier this week, the instructor decided that my classmates and I were in need of some additional enlightenment. Apparently, a weekly get-together and sing-along+ doesn’t quite cut the mustard on the spiritual advancement scale, so he began to harangue us on the “oneness” of all things.

Now when you get down to a really fundamental level you’ll find that people, rocks, breakfast cereals, Bacardi Breezers, snakes on planes and so forth, are all pretty much made of the same stuff endlessly recycled – so this actually isn’t a really tough concept to grasp. However, our all-knowing yogi chose to illustrate his point by telling us that the various forms of divination – i.e. palmistry, phrenology, bone throwing, cartomancy etc. – are all really one and the same. When I heard this, I couldn’t help nodding and smiling and this drew the instructor’s attention.

“I see you nodding and smiling. So you agree, Mr Kyknoord?”
“Oh definitely”
“But you are normally suspicious of such matters and yet now you agree that there is a oneness to these things?”
“Yes. It’s ALL a load of balls”

+ essentially, a few rousing choruses of “Om”. Very easy to learn if you aren’t much of a singer