In recognition of those individuals who have contributed most to the advancement of the cult, we proudly+ present the 2010 winners. By the way, I’m wearing a tux. I hope you have dressed accordingly.
The Bronze Award goes to the following apes and people for having blogs that aren’t kak – or at least, aren’t entirely kak++:
- Gorilla Bananas;
- The Unbearable Banishment;
- Robin;
- Jon;
- Bschooled;
- Dot Black;
- The fine show pony;
- Dinahmow;
- Mitzi;
- Jean Pant; and
- Malach!
.
These are the worthy recipients of the Silver Award:
- Daisyfae for sending me postcards and other salacious correspondence;
- Andrew for practical suggestions on staving off insanity. Woe unto Rufus Tranquillus, then;
- Alone… with cats for her fine efforts as my personal muse; and
- Renal Failure because Clarice isn’t the only one who needs to consider a bit of quid pro quo
.
The Gold Award goes to Nursemyra for directing more traffic to this blog than Almighty Google and faithfully commenting on every post, no matter how appalling. Also, for her selfless international community service in producing a regular crop of boners worldwide.
Congratulations all. If you didn’t make the cut this time, please feel free to bitch about it and I will feel free to remind you that bribes work where sycophancy fails.
+ Why is it always “proudly”? It’s not like anyone has ever “shamefully” presented an award, have they? MTV does not count.
++ Ja, I realise that getting a bronze is pretty kak; the irony (Hah! See what I did there?) isn’t lost on me.
If I’d known there was an awards ceremony attached to this blog then I would have turned up more often. I love an opportunity to where my posh frock.
*Runs off sobbing*
Sx
There, there. I’m sure there will be literary prizes when you’re done with your latest opus.
thank you. i should have that badge posted within a few months… mostly because that’s how long it’ll take for me to figure out how to do it… i guess if i was truly commited, i’d have it tattooed on my ass, but that’s like, work. and pain. so it ain’t happening…
now, if it were the gold one….
I’ll be happy to do the honours for you. Just give me your password and credit card details.
Calloo! Callay! Frabjuous Day!
Thank you, Kyk, not only for the generous beatification, but also for the deserved recommendation of the other winners.
Your toves are indeed slithy.
fuck you and all you stand for. heathen. philistine. ignoramasus thingy thing. bronze. pfft. i spit at the pixel that is your bronze. rather to have nothing than anything less than your undivided awe. it’s cos nurse myra’s hot and posts saucy pics isn’t it? you’re fired.
Look, I think we’ve already established that I’m shallow. If you like, I can have your award chromed at a very reasonable price.
no no no – you need to encourage her to post saucy pics!
Yeah, I love those posts about cooking too.
I’m with Dolce on this one, I like eating out too.
Nhurhurhur. Me too.
Do we get a trophy?
Yes. The moose head is being delivered tomorrow.
chocolate moose?
No, but I’ll run it past Lindt & Sprüngli.
Well, I’m chuffed to the fecking niblicks, me! I’m astounded anyone reads the utter shite I spout, let alone some quite intelligent people. I shall wear this badge with pride.
You do know that you can get a cream that will stop your niblicks from fecking?
Pffftt, Dorothy. You should try being on the list of un-awarded – I’d give anything for a bronze!
Anything? Will you paint my ceiling?
Allegedly I’m good at doing things when I’m lying flat on my back… but it’s a big ask. How big is this bronze? Will I have to write an acceptance speech?
Paint first. Questions later.
It’s a white-wash! No, seriously…
Firstly of all, I’d like to thank my director and my Mom and the milkmen..oh,wait! That’s ungrammatical standard response for Hollywood stuff.
Thankyou very much Mr. Penguin.I love all your books.
Yo Dinah, I’m real happy for you, and I’mma let you finish, but Random House is one of the best publishers of all time.
You know, that comment actually made me look for a “like” button.
Oh, bugger! I’ve just sent something to Harper!
Cheer up. If it’s any good, they’ll reject it.
big shouts for Dot Black and Alone… With Cats! Two of my favorite ladies.
well at least SOMEONE around here has taste. thanks babe. x
My, but that shade of bitter really suits you
I think “you’re not entirely kak” is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. *Sniff* Oh, wait. My son just told me I don’t smell like the foulest creature from the netherworld. He beat you.
Now I’m curious. Which creature from the netherworld DO you smell like?
I’m adding “personal muse” to my business cards.
That reminds me. I don’t have business cards.
That’s a shame. It would have gone so well with “tampon entrepeneur”.
Hey! I’ll take that bronze, thank you very much! I’d thank my parents except for the fact that they had nothing to do with my development at all. Maybe that’s a good thing. A little attention paid and maybe I’m not standing on this stage holding my bronze prize. Eh?
And you’re right about Mrs. Myra. She sets the gold standard for all of us.
You make a good point. I’m sure many lives have been derailed by the Philip Larkin effect.
Awesome, going for gold next time
Good luck! What do you look like in a corset?
As a prooooud Strayan who lives only to win medals (our nations’ ambitions are virtually singularly Olympic) I will ferverntly incant the Church of Cayennetology’s dogma nightly. Woof, woof, woof, achoo!
As long as you don’t start messing around with the canon.
I’m not entirely sure what to say… thank you? Although bronze isn’t really my colour. I think a nice gold will go brilliantly with my jean pant.
hung the curtains yet?
Ja, they are well hung.
oh my lord, I feel like I just won an Oscar. or a Nobel or a Pulitzer or something shiny. Kyk, how could I not keep coming back here, the comments you leave on my posts always crack me up. I may have given up the corset shots but one of these days I’ll bake a cake especially for you xxx
I love cake. The penguin likes fish cakes.
BTW, when is the next Cayennetology service? I’d like to be baptized in the blood of the…er…chili-pepper.
Didn’t you get our newsletter? It’s probably snagged in your spam filter.
Cayennetology? ooo, spicy!
Just don’t rub your eyes.
Bribes?
Now why didn’t *I* think of that.
Freaking laziness, always forgetting to offer bribes and having me miss out on awards.
Just so you know: the standard price is $20 and a picture of yourself in the nude.
i will twy harder to be a good follower next year Mr Kyk, i pwomiss.
in the meantime, i thought i’d off myself (bloggophorically speaking)
cough
You will be missed.
Pingback: Thank you Kyknoord!
Sorry I’m late, I had to fly back home to pick up my Grad dress for this momentous occasion.
Thank-you for the award, kyknoord! I shall wear it on my cyber-chest like a badge of honor.
Of course Nursemyra is the gold standard to which all are judged.
Have the lambs stopped screaming, kyk?