Mother’s Day – a time for learning lessons you never knew you needed to know. Confused? Welcome to my world. This particular Mother’s Day, I bought my dear spouse a bunch of roses, some chocolate and wrote her a poem in appalling doggerel. I know that I hadn’t exactly burst the creative envelope here, but I honestly believed that I had made a reasonable effort. Clearly, Mrs Kyknoord did not agree, because she spent the morning slouching around the flat with her lip on the floor.
Without any conscious thought on my part, the words “Is anything the matter?”, sprang unbidden from my lips. The traitorous utterance had scarcely cleared my vocal chords when I knew that somehow I had made a severe tactical error. She gave me a withering look of utter contempt and proceeded to lecture me at length about the finer nuances of Mother’s Day and the role of insignificant specks – like men – in the grander scheme of things.
It would seem that the two key elements that I had failed to address in sufficient detail were (a) her prowess as a mother and (b) how much I loved her. At the time, item (b) would have been an extremely short list, but I kept my mouth safely shut on that one. No doubt everyone in the double-X chromosome squad thinks these things should have been obvious to me, but they were, in fact, not.
Perhaps we can all learn from this. Guys – see points (a) and (b), above. Girls – if you really have something in mind other than, “write something nice in the card”, please try to be a tiny bit more specific.