Paper jam

If you’ve ever said, “I would rather die than walk downstairs”, you probably work for my company.

I went to collect a two-page letter from the print room, but when I arrived, there was no letter in evidence and the little ‘out of paper’ LED was blinking balefully at me. “Not a problem – “, thought I, “I shall refill the printer” and eagerly opened the storage cabinet. And what did I find? One solitary sheet. For crying out loud, ONE SHEET? The rule in the office is that if you use up the paper, you fetch more from the downstairs store. This may be great idea in theory, but in practice, the scenario I have just described is often the unhappy result. I normally don’t mind fetching paper from the store, but it chafes to have to do so under circumstances such as these.

No doubt the last person to fill the printer managed to convince themself that they hadn’t actually finished the paper, because there was still that sad, lonely, single sheet left in the cupboard. I’m willing to bet that the same person is responsible for putting the milk back in the fridge with mere dribble at the bottom of the bottle.

Your karmic debt is mounting, buddy. I have it on good authority that there’s a current shortage of souls for e-coli bacteria.

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16 thoughts on “Paper jam

  1. Despite the apparent thousands of miles in between, I think we might know some of the same people. 😉

    You have an interesting blog and point of view. I have a fondness for the slightly sarcastic as well (no matter how my own blogs come across). Anyone who can make me smile at bits of wry humor at 7 am or so is worth reading later when my mind might be up to full speed.. or at least when I tell myself it ought to be.

    Thanks for stopping by mine and leaving a comment.

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  2. uh, that was me who left the lone sheet in the copier.

    Really. though I have no idea where you work and live in New York which is a bit far from capetown!

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  3. Perhaps the shallow end of the gene pool is slowly but surely expanding. Where I work, someone will print off a huge report, leaving about 8 sheets remaining in the printer and the empty wrapper beside the printer. Then again, the other new reams are ALL the way in the next room… People are amazing, aren’t they?

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  4. Um, I could tell you what I like to do with those people, but it could turn into a whole post.

    It drives me crazy! They think that they are sooooo crafty. (Little do they know, people have caught on to their liitle game, and are plotting revenge…)

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  5. Thanks 007, it’s good to know that there is a groundswell of popular resistance to this irksome practice. Judgement Day Cometh! (cue ominous soundtrack)

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  6. You know, you have to admire (in a sad, sick kinda way) the thinking of the bloke that left the solitary sheet. And then one should slap him upside the head….

    I seem to have turned into not only the paper-refiller, but also the computer-restorer (what do I know?), the copy machine unjammer (just read the instructions on screen dammit!), and all sorts of other arb jobs. I wonder, if I weren’t here, whether anyone would bother to find out how to do it themselves.

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  7. Ah yes, but considering the many other jobs you execute with verve and skill: mother, photographer, party-planner, webmaster – need I go on? You are the archetype of the modern-day Renaissance Woman. I’m not surprised that they expect you to cope.

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  8. Well now I don’t feel so bad about my co-worker coming up with a new way to write the dates …. just blogged about it yesterday in fact.

    One sheet of paper left? That’s low.

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  9. Every office has THAT GUY, just one of the many reasons why I’m glad I work by myself. Of course, the scrapes I get into over refilling the paper are all the more fretful, but I think it’s worth it in the long run.

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  10. the common thread running through everbody’s comments is that a group of rejects from the shallow end of the gene pool is lurking in every office on the planet… Is this a conspiracy? aliens? makes me want to reach for my shotgun and go postal!!

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