A bumper buttock blasting bonanza

Another interesting side-effect of my medication is that it has made me gassy. Extremely gassy. I have already had several firm offers from major oil companies wanting to exploit my digestive tract and Greenpeace has started a protesting outside the flat. Hmmm… it says ‘mild hallucinations’ here on the package insert. How odd.

Anyway, the reason I mention this is because until recently, I have never been able to produce anything truly spectacular in the backside burp department. A pathetic ‘pfpt’ or a mortifying ‘mEEEEeeew’ has pretty much been the full extent of my repertoire. Lately though, I’ve been setting off derriere detonations that have the potential to become the stuff of legend.

Before I left the office on Friday, I made a stop to use the facilities. Just doing my bit to curb incipient road-rage (you try keeping calm in the traffic when the contents of your bladder has reached critical mass). Of course, I find that giving the urinal a good sluicing-down relaxes me no end and relaxes my end, too. Consequence: a real rip-snorter that shook the building to its foundations and reverberated in the upstairs corridor.

Several of my colleagues happened to be in the vicinity as I exited the toilet. The look of utter horror on the faces of the ladies and the look of grudging respect on the faces of the men was the perfect start to the weekend.