Virus Warning!

How I long for the day when they start producing virus filters for the brain. The human mind is the major chink in the armour of most protection systems. Computer viruses have been a fact of life for many years, but a lot of users are still so easily taken in by things that wouldn’t fool the rest of us for a nanosecond. I mention this because my wife was gulled by an e-mail virus so transparently obvious that I am still shaking my head in disbelief.

If you dig around in the archives, you will discover that my wife is something of a technophobe, so her use of the home computer is generally restricted to reading and sending e-mail. Her complete disinterest is great from one point of view, because I can clutter up the hard-drive with porn and games to my heart’s content. The major drawback is her touching innocence with regard to the myriad cyber-rapists out there and their continual efforts to violate our PC. Despite many dire warnings not to open any e-mail attachments whatsoever, she still has a tendency to believe the bullshit. As a consequence, I had to spend a goodly time last night disinfecting the damned PC.

Last night’s attack came in the form of a message supposedly from one of her friends. The content of the message was: “You have to check this out. Don’t worry, it’s safe. I’ve scanned it and it doesn’t have any viruses”. My dear spouse probably thought, “Oh, that must be all right then. I’m certainly convinced. Let me just double-click that EXE thingy, because I trust every unsigned e-mail I receive. Strange – all hell seems to be breaking loose. What’s that funny noise? What does ‘Virus Alert’ mean? Oh well, I suppose I’d better call hubby now – my work here is done”.


20 thoughts on “Virus Warning!

  1. Hee. See, I’m guilty of downloading stuff that makes for pop-up windows and other bullshit that piss the Boy off mightily. So, he put a parental code thingy on to prevent me from downloading stuff.

    It didn’t last very long what with all the bitchery going on. I didn’t know I could carry on so for hours on end. I don’t think he did either.

    Hope your PC is feeling better.


  2. paul: You know the expression, “If you make something idiot-proof, they’ll make a better idiot”? Well, I view these little ‘episodes’ as a necessary part of the learning curve for Mrs K. The occasional “Oh shit!” moment does wonders for cementing a lesson into the appropriate crevice in the skull.

    ZG: And yet, you are the one in the relationship who grinds her teeth? Go figure!


  3. This morning IOL indicated that there could be CAR viruses going around, relative to all that electronic gadgetry currently on board…!

    (Don’t open Windows??? ๐Ÿ™‚ )

    Boy, am I glad I drive a crappy old 1982 Ford Sierra!


  4. michelle: I’ve heard about those car viruses. According to the experts, the technical name for them is ‘people’ and apparently they cause cars to crash. Scary.


  5. Sounds like you and Mrs. Kyk know (and adhere to) your roles unwaiveringly! =) You never know though, she could have her own arsenal of porn and games cleverly hidden right there in front of you. I mean, you wouldn’t really even think to look for any… would you? =)


  6. livewire: The difference between the missus and me is that she has a burning desire to know all my sordid little secrets, like CENSORED, CENSORED and especially CENSORED. On the other hand, if she has a clandestine stash of porn, I would rather not know about it.

    agi: The forces of chaos come in all forms. We – the defenders of order – have to be ever vigilant against them [cue heroic fanfare].


  7. Hmmm … I think she’s playing you! You know, that innocent, wide-eyed attitude just waiting for you to drop your guard so she can pull one over on you when you least expect it. Watch your back…


  8. Dude, I totally feel for you. I know the feeling of having to clean up the messes caused not just by my wife, but by people at work as well. Most of the time, when there is something wrong with a computer it’s usually a PEBKAC error.

    *PEBKAC – Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.


  9. andrea: She must have an extremely long-term battle plan then, because in the decade we’ve been married, her behaviour hasn’t changed much. Unless I’m just too obtuse to pick up on it, which is highly possible… Yup, watchin’ my back now.

    paintingchef: You see, if she does have a secret cache, it would probably contain bronzed bodies with washboard stomachs and impressive equipment. I would prefer not to know what I’m being benchmarked against, if you know what I mean? Ignorance is bliss ๐Ÿ˜‰

    latin lover PEBKAC? Brilliant! The IT manager at work will love that one, too.


  10. I think computer books are the new exercise bicycles. The gift that says,”I love you, but I can make you better!”

    My boyfriend uses those books as coffee coasters…at least he’s getting some use out of them.


  11. tina: ‘…I love you, but I can make you better…’ LOL! Doesn’t that just define the quintessential 3rd Millenium relationship? I can see a whole range of greeting cards based on that phrase alone.


  12. Hee hee. That reminds me of something I read somewhere:

    “It’s a blog dear.”
    “A blog? I am sure you can get that out with some vinegar…”

    It’s funnier if you know the people I know.


  13. I’ve done similar things to my husband (latin lover)and he has had to come in and save my butt. I look at it this way though, he never would have the chance to learn all that he has because of me. I provide him with learning experiences and it makes him a better tech guy, don’t you think?


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