Dear Mr Mbeki
Thank you for so generously offering to pull Robert Mugabe out of the dwang. If there’s one thing that I, as a South African taxpayer, consider close to my heart – it’s ensuring that a dictatorial nutbag like ol’ Bob is kept in the style to which he has grown accustomed.
I realise that you are only offering him a little loan that will definitely be paid back. Please ignore your detractors who say that Mr Mugabe couldn’t find his arse with both hands and an anatomy textbook (let alone a viable recovery plan to drag Zimbabwe out of the pit of bankruptcy). Your faith in his economic prowess is inspiring. I just know that the money will be spent wisely. On humanitarian thingy and stuff. Incidentally, I happen to have some very nice swampland for sale that you may be interested in…
I was also wondering, though. Seeing as how you’re being so generous and all, maybe I could touch you for a few bob – er, I mean bucks. I’m coming up a bit short this month and the credit card company says that they will have to resort to the thumbscrew and hot irons strategy if I don’t cough up. I’ll pay you back. Promise.