Holy wedlock, Batman!

I seem to have painted a really dismal picture of life with my wife, haven’t I? While I trust that everyone has taken these various postings with sufficient quantities of salt, I feel obliged to point out that things are not quite as dire as I have made them out to be. If they were, I’m sure I would have packed it in ages ago and this blog would be named ‘Divorced Ugly Bastard on the Dating Scene’.

Nevertheless, in the interest of fair play, this entry will be dedicated to those things that make my dear spouse special to me. Lets see now. Hmm… something will come to me, I’m sure. Give me a minute. Okay, that was the very last joke. I promise.

10 things I love about my wife (in no particular order and incidentally, if you are diabetic, you may want to have your insulin ready before you continue reading):

She is kind and supportive
She is fiercely loyal
She takes extremely good care of the sprog
She is extremely generous and buys me treats for no special reason
She listens even when I am talking nonsense (i.e. most of the time)
She likes me (important, this one)
She is drop-dead sexy (has to be done in a Scottish accent to really work)
She is extremely talented in the – shall we say – intimate arts. Ahem.
She tries to keep the youngster (relatively) quiet to let me sleep in a bit on Sundays
She does ‘little things’ – like phoning me at work to find out how I am
She keeps me sane when she isn’t driving me mad (okay, so that’s eleven. Sue me)

So now you know. Beneath this curmudgeonly exterior lurks the soft heart and even softer head of a hapless romantic. No, that wasn’t a typo.

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19 thoughts on “Holy wedlock, Batman!

  1. Aaaw!!! Now ya dunnit – made me all mushy! So much so I can’t bring myself to leave a single wisecrack about all those doors you left wide open in your post!
    There’s been far too much romantic talk in blogland this week, dontcha think?

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  2. Nope, we weren’t fooled for a second! Take it from someone who KNOWS…you don’t harass your other half on your blog unless you are insanely and ridiculously crazy about them. Promise.

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  3. She likes me… that is really so very important! Maybe someday I’ll find someone that likes me, too. There are hope for the curmudgeons of the world after all…

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  4. Yeah. I’ve got bets that this is either the “make-up” or “insurance” post – because your wife found the blog or in case she does…

    Kinda like when the Dodge’s wife found his and that he referred to her as the wiff or the Trouble…

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  5. Loved it! And yeah, believe it or not other bloggers (okay maybe just one) have blogged about how Zube Boy and I should be divorced.

    He must’ve forgotten that the Zube Girl is better served with salt.

    I think Mrs. Kyknoord sounds wonderful.

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  6. michelle, andrea & paintingchef: All that hard work for nothing, eh?

    terri: You’re a fine one to talk, you started the avalanche.

    lee: I knew I could count on you. I can hardly wait for the “We Gentlemen Who Murder Kittens” post.

    livewire: I have no doubts on that score. It’s only a matter of time, so keep that lab coat handy.

    eKapa & IITQ: So cynical… [shakes head in disbelief] I suppose I could vociferously deny these groundless accusations, but since they could so easily be true, I won’t.

    anne: Just remember to wash your hands afterwards.

    Zube Girl: I’m thinking of introducing a ‘salt grain’ rating scale to help those who aren’t too sure and need assistance.

    sophie: Well, I did post that warning 🙂

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  7. It is the question: I was livid when I heard that I am referred to as ‘Management’. As in, “Will Management let you come for a drink with us?” I instisted on a promotion and am now ‘Government’. Not sure that’s a promotion though…

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  8. terri: You like? It’s yours.

    jess: Management? [snigger] Good one! ‘Government’ is a bit worrying. Too many unpleasant implications there.

    anduin: Don’t be concerned. I’ll post something caustic to take care of the stickiness.

    scott: You will always be #1. One swallow doth not a spring make.

    IITQ: Are you two flirting with one another?

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  9. Aaaw. Am touched and moved. No really. Not being sarcastic here. Glad to know there are men out there that appreciate their ‘wimmin’ folk. Cool.

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