I seem to have painted a really dismal picture of life with my wife, haven’t I? While I trust that everyone has taken these various postings with sufficient quantities of salt, I feel obliged to point out that things are not quite as dire as I have made them out to be. If they were, I’m sure I would have packed it in ages ago and this blog would be named ‘Divorced Ugly Bastard on the Dating Scene’.
Nevertheless, in the interest of fair play, this entry will be dedicated to those things that make my dear spouse special to me. Lets see now. Hmm… something will come to me, I’m sure. Give me a minute. Okay, that was the very last joke. I promise.
10 things I love about my wife (in no particular order and incidentally, if you are diabetic, you may want to have your insulin ready before you continue reading):
She is kind and supportive
She is fiercely loyal
She takes extremely good care of the sprog
She is extremely generous and buys me treats for no special reason
She listens even when I am talking nonsense (i.e. most of the time)
She likes me (important, this one)
She is drop-dead sexy (has to be done in a Scottish accent to really work)
She is extremely talented in the – shall we say – intimate arts. Ahem.
She tries to keep the youngster (relatively) quiet to let me sleep in a bit on Sundays
She does ‘little things’ – like phoning me at work to find out how I am
She keeps me sane when she isn’t driving me mad (okay, so that’s eleven. Sue me)
So now you know. Beneath this curmudgeonly exterior lurks the soft heart and even softer head of a hapless romantic. No, that wasn’t a typo.