A fair affair

Okay, now this is just weird.

Yesterday, my wife had lunch with an acquaintance who’d recently returned from a trip abroad. This woman had gone to see her ex-husband in a last-ditch attempt to “give it another go”. This is certainly testimony to her boundless optimism, especially in view of the fact that the ex is already engaged to the ‘other’ woman (with whom he supposedly had the affair that broke up the marriage). The trip was less than successful, because he rejected her entreaties and consequently, she returned to Cape Town with little to show for her efforts, other than a huge credit card bill. I’m not sure if there is anything that hath no fury like a woman scorned twice over, but if there is, I imagine it must be pretty bad. Yes, I realise that this isn’t particularly strange, but I needed to establish the context.

I was only listening with half an ear* as Mrs Kyknoord related the whole sordid and sorry tale, but I nonetheless experienced a serious “Huh?” moment when she got to the part where the ex-hubby apparently claimed that his bride-to-be was still a virgin. Say what? I mean, of course he’s spewing excrement of the gentleman cow, but still… What on earth could be the motive for telling such a whopper? Retroactively applied innocence, maybe? Even if one suspends disbelief utterly, it rather begs the question: What is the point of having an affair if you don’t actually sleep with the other person? Isn’t that one of the primary reasons for engaging in an illicit liaison in the first place? Who on earth has a ‘platonic’ affair? Is that even possible? Now that’s what I mean by weird.

* At the time, there was a really fascinating commercial on TV about where all the missing socks in the world go. I haven’t a clue what they were advertising, though.


19 thoughts on “A fair affair

  1. Hehe that advert is for NetStar I think… oh I dont care – I love the advert anyways!
    La la la la la-la-la-la…



  2. But what if he’s very rich, and she just wants a piece of the inheritance? She’s got to make sure he’ll tie the knot (preferably tight around his own neck) and had resorted to the ‘I’m saving myself for my wedding night’ legend…
    Or she’s 15 and he has qualms.


  3. Ah, Anne’s looking at it from the other woman’s perspective, fair enough. I must say it does seem a bit of a wasted opportunity to have a ‘platonic affair’. As u said – what’s the point??

    But more importantly, where do the missing socks go???


  4. Scarlet: Ja, it’s quite fun, isn’t it? I suspect the Iggy Pop background song also had something to do with the ad snagging my attention the way it did. La la la la la-la-la-la…

    anne: I do know that he isn’t rich and I’m pretty sure she isn’t 15, because he met her at work. The whole affair (hah!) is very puzzling.

    terri: If the ad is to believed (and who doesn’t believe that adverts present the absolute, unvarnished truth?), socks end up on island somewhere across the sea, where socks can live in peace, breathe free and have a massive beach party.

    andrea: That is truly shameful, Andrea. I would think that any person of conscience (and I do believe you are such a person) would do the right thing and release those socks into the wild.


  5. i thought this post was kind of sad. the friend obviously had some tragic desperation to even attempt to woo the likes of an engaged man, whether they shared a history or not.

    i couldn’t help but feel sad (and a dash of pity) for her. especially on her lonely ride home. hmmmmm… this one made me think. and i’m not sure why.


  6. He’s lying. Either that, or he’s one of those dillusion types who think women should be kept pure and simple everytime. Cleary, he has something he wants to prove, and rubbing it in his ex’s face is too good an ego-boost to miss. As for her, I think it’s less sad than wrong. She needs to catch a wake up, and maybe get herself a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You for some tips on beating co-dependency.


  7. Affairs without sex do occasionally happen, but I’d call bullshit on this one,too.

    I’ve heard that it isn’t the dryer that steals socks, it’s the washer. They float over the top of the tub. Supposedly putting them in the bottom of the washer helps.


  8. Hiya Kyknoord, I wanted to take a minute and giggle with you about the missing sock commerical! Also I wanted to take a moment and thank you for allowing me to feature your blog in my 100 Compliments of Summer! I’ve adored your writing for a while now! Keep it up!

    Thanks again


  9. Fuckin’ spamments! May the originator of that (now excised) example of electronic excrement develop a disgustingly disturbing disease.

    jessafran: I agree that it’s a sad situation. It was just so soap-opreraesque that I had to share.

    terri: Me too. I want to be the DJ at the beach party.

    rox: I saw them a few times when they were still together and it seems to me that you could be right on all counts.

    IITQ: I would have thought that “once bitten, twice shy” would apply to something like this. Clearly not.

    sophie: They do? I suppose this explains why my wife got so bent out of shape about one of my female friends (you’ll need to trawl through the archives to find the entry about it – I’m too lazy to post a link).

    cylie: Thanks, you are kind. Regarding the sock commercial, it is for Netstar (thanks Scarlet) and there is a downloadable version on their website. La la la la la-la-la-la…


  10. I’m with that other person, he’s GOT to be lying just to get her and if he’s not lying…she should hope it’s the worst sex he’s ever had and there’s no going back. Oy.


  11. This has been fun to follow. Have to agree that the guy must be lying, no such thing as a “platonic affair” and as for the lady, come on sister, he isn’t worth it. I also enjoy the sock ad, but how about the little meerkat????


  12. What if….

    He was really miserable with this ex wife and really wanted to see someone else. Then he met this girl who doesn’t want to have sex until marriage and maybe he’s a bit religous so he agrees. He’s still leaving the ex-wife because she’s treating him badly and he loves the personality of this new girl so his affair remains platonic and he’s still happy.

    Or he could be lying.


  13. tj: Yup. Occam’s Razor – as applied to relationships.

    buddess: He’s definitely not worth it, in my opinion. She should just let him go – like a sock. BTW, are you talking about the ‘you sexy thing’ dancing meerkat?

    juliana: ”…Or he could be lying.” LOL. That is just the best punch-line ever.


  14. Not like a sock, they appear to have too much fun. Yes, I am talking about the bumslapping dancing meerkat!! I see that he even appears at the top of the tv screen during the rugby matches!!How many people have noticed him there??


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