Gimme, gimme, gimme

What do you get when you cross undefined dissatisfaction with a limited vocabulary? A toddler tantrum, that’s what. Kyknoord Jr has reached that delightful age where she wants everything that she can lay her eyes on. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that she wants everything in the entire world that she does not actually hold in her two sticky, drool-bedecked little hands.

You see, the things that she is clutching this very minute (which she absolutely had to have a mere moment ago) become completely dull and uninteresting about two picoseconds after she has grabbed them and her gaze falls upon some other utterly irresistible item. To a toddler, the world is like a sushi conveyor-belt. The offerings cruising past always look far more appetizing than the miserable morsel of seaweed and rice presently on your plate.

She leaves a trail of discarded objects behind her as she grabs, rejects and moves on in a seemingly never-ending cycle. Whenever I watch a detective series on television and the protagonist arrives home to find their house ransacked, I think to myself, “Oh. They must have a youngster, too”.

Of course, it almost goes without saying that when something is out of reach and the sprog is denied her (momentary) heart’s desire, much weeping and gnashing of teeth ensues. This can become exceedingly tiresome after a while. “You want the ant poison, do you? Don’t bloody tempt me, okay?”

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21 thoughts on “Gimme, gimme, gimme

  1. I totally feel you on this one. I have 2 little ones under the age of 2. The one is a bigger detective than the other. They are constantly trying to outdo each other and needless to say, the one will never let the other just enjoy their discoveries in peace. And just for the record, they aren’t twins.

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  2. With toddlers short attention span, they would get bored with the ant poison before they even got around to do harm to the ants. You would never be able to find where they hid the ant poisoning thought.

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  3. Would that it were the limited vocabulary… But when she’s a teenager and wants a moped or to go to a party or what have you, she’ll throw the exact same ones.

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  4. buddess: Two? You poor, poor thing.

    sparkling: Definitely not the ants that have to worry, here.

    anne: True, but I’ll be older and deafer by then.

    paul: I’ve heard about those. When do they start?

    [pjdets – pyjama detectives]

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  5. Mwaahahaaa, sorry to disappoint you KN but it only gets worse from here. I thought I got off lightly with the so-called terrible twos but now we are faced with the *drum roll please* THREENAGER in all her glory. I want, I must, GIVE ME… oh joy. Good luck!

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  6. Mwahahahaha…! All you silly people who thought you’d be prepared for parenthood. Just wait until the TV remote goes on the blink cos it got too much drool in it! The dog ate your report? NOOOO… your toddler decided it was a good time to learn to read. Mwahahahahaha!
    zxyeloj – Chinese word for frustration. How come u get such nice word ver’s KN?

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  7. bee: [quiet sobbing]

    beelzebabe: Phew! Bee had me worried, but it seems there is hope after all.

    terri: The only way to be prepared is to raise lots of siblings. For the rest of us, it’s like trying to learn to fly a jumbo jet by flying a jumbo jet. Regarding the word verification game: I cheat. If I get something like ‘xqkkxpq’, I just close down the comment window and have another go.

    ZG: It’s probably because food always looks better on someone else’s plate.

    [erhlouea – the correct technical term for ‘verbal diarrhoea’]

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  8. As for me, I sympathise with small K. I spent the weekend wanting what I couldn’t have, desperately eying what someone else has on her plate, knowing that if I could give in I’d be leaving a trail of broken, discarded objects behind me. And the weeping and gnashing of teeth that ensued! What makes you think this kind of behaviour is restricted to toddlers?
    P.S. I looked for ant poison but we were all out.

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  9. I hate drool; slobbery dogs, slobbery kids – all the same. Ew. I don’t think I could be a parent. Parents are supposed to be the target of the kids’ tantrums, right? Not the originating source…

    dfiusm -> Translation: defuse ’em – what you need to do with these pesky kiddie tantrums! =)

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  10. Your observations kill me.

    btw: I am grateful for one thing today; that you only have 9 months worth of archives instead of 9 years otherwise I would have got NOTHING accomplished this morning.

    You are nothing short of amazing.

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  11. I’m not sure it ever stops. I was talking to two nurses at work today about how impossible their boys became upon turning 18. I’ll stick with the niece and nephew–I can give them back.

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  12. Future’s not better nor worse – just different. Still in all, with 20-somethings, teen and toddlers in same family, I wouldn’t change my chosen path for the world. I do hear they move out eventually, though I’m not sure I believe it.

    sqndmyaz = what you should tell your boss the next time you get an unreasonable deadline. (now?)

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  13. I have two teenagers and two almost toddlers – I’ll take the toddlers any day!!! I have gathered that your problems start when they start talking. Get ready for I’m hungry for sweets/chips/chocolate, My teacher said you must buy…, My teacher said I must brush my hair like this.., But all my friends have them, We must go shopping for …

    agfqtx – some type of tax all grownups frequently have to pay.

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  14. andrea: I think the difference lies not in the wanting, but in the reason for the wanting. Toddlers have no reason.

    livewire: Cats are so much more rewarding. If only they would get jobs, then they would be perfect.

    tj: [blush]

    a.andorian: I’d love to know what the first 14 reasons are.

    sophie: Fortunately, you can kick them out of the house when they turn 18.

    beastarzmom: You’re made of sterner stuff than me. On the “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger” scale, I’m definitely not getting stronger.

    buddess: You’ll take toddlers any day? Woohoo! Mine’s in the post. Just look out for the cardboard box with holes in the top.

    bee: So this is why ignorance is bliss.

    jill: [more quiet sobbing]

    [gzmios – Greek for ‘widget’]

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