I am simply amazed at the number of people who either forget why they have called me the instant I answer the phone, or – even worse – can’t even remember who they were supposed to have been phoning. Call me weird, but I’m of the opinion that if you don’t have this key information on hand when you start dialling, then you shouldn’t be using the phone in the first place! I can forgive the occasional lapse, but this sort of thing happens way too often to be a coincidence. It is either proof that cellphones eat your brains, or that the majority of individuals who phone me at work are congenital idiots.
I may be paid to suffer fools, but I definitely don’t have to do so gladly. Consequently, I made a policy decision that as long as I am going to have my day interrupted by cretins, I will have my sport with them. My boss informed me earlier that he received a complaint about my telephone etiquette. My goodness! Imagine that! Could he possibly be referring to this conversation?:
“Where am I now?”
“How the fuck should I know? Try looking around to see if anything looks familiar. If that doesn’t sort you out, phone the emergency services.”
“No need to apologise. Glad to help. Have a spectacular day”