Communication gap

Without any warning whatsoever and for no obvious reason, my phone suddenly decided to turn up its toes and go to sleep. I spent a goodly time muttering curses through gritted teeth when all the usual troubleshooting checks failed to elicit any positive response, because I knew I would have to take my new high-tech paperweight in to the ‘service’ centre (of course, I use the term for the sake of convenience, rather than accuracy).

I’d been through this joyful process before with my previous service provider and it wasn’t an experience that I wanted to repeat in a hurry. I also knew that I had better prepare myself mentally in order to keep my blood-pressure within acceptable levels. Having your head explode in public is not only embarrassing – it’s messy, too.

After a half-hour wait, I calmly (thanks to my powerful Jedi mental preparation techniques) presented myself at the counter. “Yes?”, asked the bored assistant [Translation: What do you want? You’re cutting into my valuable nail-chewing time here].
“My phone isn’t working”
“You’ll have to give me more detail”
“Okay. My phone isn’t working at all
“What happens when you try to dial out?”
“Nothing”
“What happens when you turn it on?”
“Nothing”
“So it doesn’t turn on?”
“It turns on, but nothing further happens”
“Oh. So you’re saying that your phone doesn’t work?”
“I can see why they made you Employee of the Month”

I am swiftly running out of service providers.

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19 thoughts on “Communication gap

  1. I’m wondering what it is that makes all mobile service providers the world over so obnoxious and dishonest and incompetent and annoyingly condescending and worthy a slap or a hundred and twenty…

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  2. Having worked for one of the leading service providers, I can attest to the fact that it is ALL about the money for them. It’s so not about the customer. Grr. Hate ’em… hate that monopoly. Yebo my ass!

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  3. I decided a while ago, after hearing a funny from Barry Hilton, that I was going to carry signs with me so that when I come across someone who is as thick as that, I can give them a sign to wear saying “I’m Doff / Thick / Dense / Stupid”. (take your pick) I would enjoy nothing more than saying to someone unconscious -“heres your sign”,e.g:
    “My phone isn’t working”…
    …”Oh, so you’re saying your phone isn’t working.”
    “Here’s *your* sign.” (moron)
    Once again, stupid people shouldn’t breath either!

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  4. Service just sucks!!! It seems that what used to be the most important issue for any company, has now become the least. It is also amazing how the SP’s always transfer blame to the manufacturers and their policies. I have a phone that has been repaired 7 times in 9 months. I can’t get a replacement for it, because it hasn’t been repaired for the same fault more than 3 times. What gives here?? Who do I fight with???

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  5. anne: I’m guessing it’s in their industry charter.

    bee: Par for the course, of course.

    spookie: Hmm… I got printer, I got label sheet – sod the rhythm and music, who could ask for anything more?

    buddess: Sounds like they’re rebuilding your phone piece by piece. It’s a wonder more people don’t just flush the damned things down the toilet.

    lyn: Sure, why not?

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  6. mmm, it also depends on where you go… for instance my P900 got “water damage” (don’t ask) and I took it to vodashop in Sandton… talk about useless “service” eish! I can’t handle incompetence so my next stop was Vodaworld… I was impressed! They were pretty busy as per usual, but it took 10min, 1 free cappuccino and I had a new phone! Plus service with a smile 🙂

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  7. The cocept of “good service” has not quite filtered through in the communication industry. I have two phones registered on two different networks. I am still at a loss at who gives the better service.
    Mostly is a case of crap and crappier.

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  8. The last time I had to replace my phone, the only lifesaver was the computer that my niece could play on while we waited. If you are considering changing for better service–let me know when you find the good one!

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  9. andrea: And that’s probably why you’re going to outlive all of us.

    ZG: I suppose I should be grateful that I live in a carefree world.

    tripeak: “…water damage…” is code for “I dropped it in the toilet”, isn’t it? Still – you managed to get decent service out of Vodaworld, so at least it ended well. It’ll be a bit of a commute for me, but it’s tempting nonetheless.

    livewire: Thanks. In the mean time, I’ll just have to keep practising Yoda-Yoga.

    paintingchef: Such dedication to duty. I get all choked up sometimes.

    chitty: As Bee says, they’re not really in business to provide a service. It’s all about selling you a contract or a handset. If you aren’t in the market for either of those, then you can go and wait in the queue and be quiet.

    sophie: Don’t hold your breath just yet.

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  10. dude, anything bigger than is absolutely necessary to vibrate satisfactorily in ones pocket and distract ones attention from the mediocre happenings of our lives is bound to break. either that or you took that baby to the next level…now didn’t you, you sick puppy! 🙂

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  11. what keeps happening to me is when i need phone repairs of some sort, i get told i have to pay for it because there was liquid damage and it’s no longer under warranty! everytime! i don’t have a pool and i don’t bath with my phone. and yet- EVERYtime a coconut!

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  12. angel: Sounds like a scam to me. They fed my father the same line until he asked them to prove it, then their tune changed to “the phone has been dropped”. He’s retired, so he had all the time in the world to argue, so he kept on disputing it until they finally caved and admitted that the hardware was crap.

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  13. Pingback: Sincere service | The Bok and Roo Blog

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