Without any warning whatsoever and for no obvious reason, my phone suddenly decided to turn up its toes and go to sleep. I spent a goodly time muttering curses through gritted teeth when all the usual troubleshooting checks failed to elicit any positive response, because I knew I would have to take my new high-tech paperweight in to the ‘service’ centre (of course, I use the term for the sake of convenience, rather than accuracy).
I’d been through this joyful process before with my previous service provider and it wasn’t an experience that I wanted to repeat in a hurry. I also knew that I had better prepare myself mentally in order to keep my blood-pressure within acceptable levels. Having your head explode in public is not only embarrassing – it’s messy, too.
After a half-hour wait, I calmly (thanks to my powerful Jedi mental preparation techniques) presented myself at the counter. “Yes?”, asked the bored assistant [Translation: What do you want? You’re cutting into my valuable nail-chewing time here].
“My phone isn’t working”
“You’ll have to give me more detail”
“Okay. My phone isn’t working at all”
“What happens when you try to dial out?”
“What happens when you turn it on?”
“So it doesn’t turn on?”
“It turns on, but nothing further happens”
“Oh. So you’re saying that your phone doesn’t work?”
“I can see why they made you Employee of the Month”
I am swiftly running out of service providers.