The play officially opens this evening. It is perhaps worth noting that we have already staged two performances before an audience, so ‘First Night’ is a complete misnomer. Nevertheless, the Friday show is traditionally regarded as the opening night and in the theatre, Logic gets the crap kicked out of it by Tradition every time. It’s best not to dwell on such things, unless you are prepared to have your brain slowly turn into cheese.
Thus far, it seems to have gone well and although no-one has thrown their underwear on the stage or come hammering on the backstage door demanding autographs, nobody has fallen asleep and there haven’t been any walk-outs (or at least they’ve been subtle about it and have waited until interval before leaving). This is rather impressive, because the play is a two and a half hour Victorian epic with very little in the way of sex, drugs or rock ‘n’ roll. If you’re planning to come and see it, I would strongly recommend making a visit to the facilities before taking your seat. Your kidneys will be ever grateful – after all, loss of bladder control is still frowned upon in polite society.
The patience of last night’s audience was rewarded when in the final scene, some glass tumblers on a tray experienced an existential epiphany and took an unscripted dive onto the floor. The members of the cast who were on stage at the time took it in their stride and in the moment of deathly silence that followed the cacophonous CRASH TINKLE tinkle tinkle, I am pleased to report that not a single utterance of “Oh fuck!” escaped anyone’s lips.