The glass is half

The play officially opens this evening. It is perhaps worth noting that we have already staged two performances before an audience, so ‘First Night’ is a complete misnomer. Nevertheless, the Friday show is traditionally regarded as the opening night and in the theatre, Logic gets the crap kicked out of it by Tradition every time. It’s best not to dwell on such things, unless you are prepared to have your brain slowly turn into cheese.

Thus far, it seems to have gone well and although no-one has thrown their underwear on the stage or come hammering on the backstage door demanding autographs, nobody has fallen asleep and there haven’t been any walk-outs (or at least they’ve been subtle about it and have waited until interval before leaving). This is rather impressive, because the play is a two and a half hour Victorian epic with very little in the way of sex, drugs or rock ‘n’ roll. If you’re planning to come and see it, I would strongly recommend making a visit to the facilities before taking your seat. Your kidneys will be ever grateful – after all, loss of bladder control is still frowned upon in polite society.

The patience of last night’s audience was rewarded when in the final scene, some glass tumblers on a tray experienced an existential epiphany and took an unscripted dive onto the floor. The members of the cast who were on stage at the time took it in their stride and in the moment of deathly silence that followed the cacophonous CRASH TINKLE tinkle tinkle, I am pleased to report that not a single utterance of “Oh fuck!” escaped anyone’s lips.


16 thoughts on “The glass is half

  1. Well done on the previous performances. Merde and break a leg on tonight and tomorrow’s.
    And excellent piece – as always, but I believe I’ve never been over(t)ly flattering here, yet. 🙂


  2. Good luck, break a leg, whatever from me too.

    Its a shame we shall miss it as we don’t get to Cape Town until November. Have enjoyed reading your Blog about it all, hope you will tell us about the thunderous applause this evening 🙂


  3. No opening night jittres I hope, so that no lines will come out as follows: “Hark, I shistol pot! – I mean a postil shit – oh shit I’m shot, I f@#k, I’m fired!!!”
    (Line should have been -“Hark I hear a pistol shot!”)
    Enjoy tonight!!!



    Heheheheheh… just kidding!

    Once again, break a leg… and yes, glad the previews went well! We only had one preview (for press and select audience), and I can’t even remember how it went because I was so scared…

    Have fun!


  5. In THAT theatre, you better don’t say “Break a leg”; hasn’t happened all too often in reality!

    Good luck. Enjoy the opening-night nerves!
    And don’t you DARE turn into a little woman [keep your hair LONG].


  6. anne: Thank you thrice over. You are kind.

    pal: There’s always something on at the Masque, so you don’t have to feel deprived if you feel the need for the cultural experience. Incidentally, the applause was satisfyingly stormy.

    banquo: …a postil shit… LOL. Oh man, that really cracked me up. Thanks!

    red: Well, so I’ve heard.

    machine: Cool. Look out for me – I’m the one with the hump, the wooden leg and the Glaswegian accent.

    anon: Hah! You are so right. Don’t worry about my tresses – I’m very attached to them. Or the other way round. Something like that. It’s late.

    livewire: [Eric Cartman voice] Sweeeeet!

    zube girl: You could always be a stage manager. It’s part of the job description.


  7. Glad the CRASH TINKLE tinkle tinkle didn’t result in any of the aforementioned broken legs. Too late to wish you luck, so instead I’ll say I hope it went well.
    That Glaswegian accent must’ve been a bitch to master!


  8. Can’t you shift some of your performance dates around. Would pop down and see it, but I have stuff on for all the remaining nights…
    Break a leg, anyhow…


  9. Yeah, I think someone exhaling, “Oh fuck!” during ‘Little Women’ would sort of break any Victorian authenticity you’re going for.

    If I had been in the audience, I’d be the one laughing…actually I’d have both hands over my mouth to muffle my laughter.


  10. terri: It shredded the french polish finish on one of the table legs. Does that count?

    flo: They’re pretty much locked in. Ah well, maybe next time 🙂

    phoenix: Can’t say I blame you. There were a one or two snorts from the audience.

    sophie: Ta!


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