I’ve said it numerous times: opinions are like arses – everyone has one, but some are more attractive than others. To extend the metaphor (or simile, if you are from the Grammar Police), I don’t begrudge anyone their opinion, I just don’t necessarily want it shoved in my face.
I’m a fairly tranquil guy on the surface. As a result, some people incorrectly assume that I’m fairly relaxed. The truth of the matter is that the facade is only smooth as a consequence of internal pressure – sort of like balloon. Most of the time, I’m desperately trying not to kill the person talking to me. How does the song go? ‘Pop goes the weasel’ – well, I’m trying to defer the day when you can colour me weasel, but it’s difficult, let me tell you. How the hell did I get here? From opinions to weasels in one easy step. Surreal.
Anyway, to borrow heavily from a joke that’s been doing the rounds: Before you judge me, walk a mile in my shoes. That way, when you judge me, you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have my shoes.