Are we there yet?

You know what they say – “It ain’t over ’till the fat lady sings”. I normally have to be in a receptive mood to appreciate opera, so it’s no surprise that I have a rather severe headache from – metaphorically speaking – having to put up with a corpulent soprano bellowing out the arias all weekend.

I recently extended the olive branch to my wife once again and asked her to at least consider the possibility of reconciliation. She returned the olive branch, but sadly, she had cut it into tiny pieces and burnt them. When we last spoke on Friday evening, she told me in no uncertain terms that she couldn’t wait to be rid of me and if I ever darken her door again, it would be further darkened with bloodstains. Mine.

So that’s it, then. The end. I’ve heard it said that insanity could be defined as doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result. That may be true, but I had to at least give it a try. On the other hand, I don’t pretend that I’m entirely sane, so no worries there. Still, having visions of Monserat Caballé singing Verdi in my skull is a tiny bit disturbing – even for me.

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31 thoughts on “Are we there yet?

  1. We all have music in our souls. I think the beat changes to our needs. You’ll find the right sound when the dust settles and you can breathe again.

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  2. I never was a fan of opera myself, so look at it this way: you tried The Musical Offering out of true apassionata. Once over the hump the fugues will eventually cease and you’ll be hearing Ode to Joy before you know it.

    PS She’s a harpy. Just say the word and I’ll be right over to teach her a music lesson or two.

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  3. It may not help KN, but I went through all this a few years ago. We drifted apart, then things got nasty until we split. I am still going through my divorce (3 years down the line!!).

    Once over the initial shock, things do get better. I am now happy and have another sprog on the way with my new partner. The hardest part was explaining to my other kid that it (the seperation, not the new sprog!) had nothing to do with him.

    And now I get on even better with my ex than I ever did before! Go figure!

    I wish you the best of luck through these “interesting” times that lie ahead! 😉

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  4. You did what you felt was right, then she followed suit. Seeing that difference may give you the strength to get through knowing that you used all available options. When you finally realize that a situation has played out, you can begin climbing out of the pit it’s kept you in. You can do it.

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  5. Until recently, positive words were never used when speaking about a split. Growing up in a rigid religious community, frustrations were rather ignored and denied rather than hashed out. Now that I am so much older and removed from many of the trappings of my youth, I have come to see that one may quite possibly speak about a split in positive terms. I hope that your situation will turn out for the best, whether or not you choose to persue the insanity thing. Good luck from Canada!

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  6. All you can do in life is give something your best shot and then move on.

    Knowing you did eveything you could to reconcile will allow you to move on.

    Good luck.

    I believe that if Monserat Caballé is in your skull, that might be the cause of your headache – she is an almighty large woman!

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  7. take heart.

    “Humanity may endure the loss of everything; all its possessions may be turned away without infringing its true dignity – all but the possibility of improvement.”

    Johann Gottlieb Fichte

    xxB

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  8. caroline: Well, at least there’s lots of it.

    anne: No doubt it will be, as soon as the echoes die away.

    banquo: Ah well, these things happen.

    elize: Hah! If I knew that, I could make millions.

    tammy: Something quiet, I hope.

    andrea: Until then, I’ll just have to sing the blues.

    delboy: Thanks, dude. It does help.

    livewire: Are you callin’ me a spelunker?

    Brian: You know what they say – insanity requires commitment 🙂

    IITQ: Fortunately, I have a big head. Unfortunately, I can’t even think of food without rousing her into a frenzy.

    phoenix: Thanks. Should do.

    boudica: Things can always be worse, not so?

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  9. At times like this one often resorts to cliches or sayings oft heard before not simply out of a lack of originality but because those tried and tested sayings often are so truthful. And with type of event, there are many that spring to mind. But, with Churchill in mind:

    “This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

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  10. I think you outgrew her completely. She got tired of feeling left behind and being intellectualy challenged. There is only one way for you now and that is forward. You have the battle half won. Tell Monserat Caballé to get out of your head because you need the space for better things.

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  11. You poor thing. You’re owed a non-sexual Hug of Commiseration should we ever meet.

    Oh, and a playful slap on the backside, depending on how hot you are.

    🙂

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  12. I sense an undercurrent of rejection in this post. You were willing to try more, but she wasn’t. Don’t let yourself feel negatively about yourself. Relationships are always a shared responsibility. If you are not right for her as you are today, she isn’t right for you either. Better to let go and allow yourself to be happy again with a better person for you.

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  13. You’re clearly the bigger person in all of this and I hope you see that. But don’t beat yourself up with that ‘crazy’ nonsense. You had a great deal vested in the relationship and the hardest thing in the world is letting go. It usually takes a few tries.

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  14. You’ll be ok unless the fat lady starts singing “It’s a Small World Afterall” or that irritating song inside your brain thingie.
    Good for you for giving it that last try. You will never wonder what might have happened if… I’m a big believer in somehow things will always work out better in the end, and while it certainly isn’t today, and there will be way too many tomorrows until it’s true, I bet this is one of those cases as well…
    Hang in there. Good to see all this support out there across the world for you!

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  15. This is part where I am suppose to offer generalized, comforting words towards your ordeal. Well, don’t expect it from me because I don’t know you well enough, and I hardly know the story.

    Just know this, though: Everyone gets what they deserve in the end. If you’re good people, life will work out in your favor. It always does.

    The best to ya.

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  16. Man, Kyknoord. I’m sorry. If I lived closer I’d take you out to a concert or something so you could get that damn opera out of your head.

    I’m thinking of ya. I really am. I’m sorry she cut up your olive branch and burned it. You had to try, and I respect that you did.

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  17. LiVEwiRe: Oh, so now I’m a hooker? This is going from bad to worse.

    Bee: Got any rope?

    Chitty: Me too, but I’m not going to hold my breath.

    Nomad: Didn’t Churchill also say, “We’ll fight them bitches!”?

    Buddess: Believe me, you don’t want to try and issue orders to Ms Caballé.

    Lee: Excellent. Of course, you may need to dig out your parka.

    jason: Rejection? What gave it away? Seriously, you are right – it has to be mutual to work.

    Michelle: Them’s the breaks.

    tj: True. Insanity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

    Beastarzmom: Not forgetting that suppositories also work out better in the end.

    Bryan: Damn! I hope there’s a bit of leeway in that ‘getting what you deserve’ story, because I could be in trouble.

    juliana: I know. I’ve been there before and life goes on.

    Zube Girl: Not to worry, I’m going to take a stroll around the bakery. That’s sure to dislodge my passenger.

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  18. True, Churchill said that too! But he also coined the term ‘The Iron Curtain’ and may have, not sure though, coined the term, ‘Cold War’.

    Seems like he could be your mentor in your trying times.

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  19. I’m sorry for the pain you’re going thru kyknoord. There is no easy way around the pain of divorce. But it does get better. And always, always, this too shall pass.

    3T
    PS. I can’t stand opera! I hope that lets up soon too!

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