Heavy petting

Why do people keep pets? In general terms, most people derive pleasure from the relationship with their furry / scaly / feathered friend, but for others, the reasons are more complex. It would appear that they don’t get enough aggravation in the normal course of events, so they have to supplement their supply. You could almost go so far as to say they need an auxiliary spouse.

A friend of mine called me the other day while he was spending some quality time with his hound. The conversation – and I use the term rather loosely – went like this:

“Hello?”
“It’s me – I’m taking the dog for a walk, that’s why she’s barking. Hold on. Shut up. SHUT UP! Hi, you still there?”
“Yes”
“Hold on. Stop that. STOP THAT! Hi, you still there?”
“Yes”
“Hold on. Come here. COME HERE! I’m not going to tell you again. DAMMIT, COME HERE!! Hi, you still there?”
“Yes”
“Oh no. It looks like she’s going to take another dump and I only brought one plastic bag. I have to stop her. Gotta go, bye!”

I tried to call back, because I wanted to find out why he called in the first place and I was dead keen to discover the outcome of the bowel-blocking exercise, but his phone was off. Clearly he was having a shitty time.

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22 thoughts on “Heavy petting

  1. I think having pets is like having kids. Most of the time you’re not sure why you have them, but once in a while they do bring about a great deal of pleasure. My cat is a pain in the ass, but I love him just the same.

    Your friend needs obedience school. His dog could use it too!

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  2. Before I forget: why is your blog b&w now — or is it something I’m doing? Unfortunately with one of my dogs being a congenital idiot I can relate too well to that post (especially the overachieving pooper part). The cat, on the other hand, is the daughter I never had…

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  3. 3T: You need to ask?

    Just Me: LOL. Hopefully it wasn’t set to vibrate.

    anne: Seriously? The poor child must be terribly constipated.

    Mrs Lifecruiser: Aaaarh matey! Welcome to the poop deck.

    Fence: It would have to be one about bowel movement, wouldn’t it?

    Anduin Andorian: I don’t know, I think the dog has him well-trained 🙂

    andrea: I got my friend’s dog to redesign the template. When it comes to dogs & blogs, colour doesn’t mean much.

    Caroline:Earl Sosu? Sounds good. Any chance of lands and income to go with the title?

    Terri: I’ll even get one for the dog.

    DelBoy: Nope. Just a deep-fryer for when your French friends come to visit.

    Lyn: Sort of like a virtual pet, but without the hassle.

    The Phoenix: Just as well. Imagine how big everything would be otherwise.

    juliana said: I sincerely hope you aren’t in Guinea.

    WretchedToad: You think your mother wrote a blog entry about it?

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  4. Have you noticed how cleaning up your own children’s crap is ok but if, god forbid, you have to clean up another person’s kid’s crap it is just too awful for words?

    I’d rather clean up dog shit than another person’s sprog’s crap!

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  5. I read your title and got all excited for some steamy content. I thought perhaps you were getting back into the relationship scene. Perhaps it was your subconscious writing for you. 🙂
    I don’t have a dog for the very reasons you wrote here. Picking up a soft, steaming pile of doodoo is not something this tactile fellow gets excited about.

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  6. nomad: Doggie-do is certainly outstripped in the stench stakes by human-do.

    chitty: This one’s going to be timeless, like bell-bottoms.

    brian: Well, it was steamy. After a fashion.

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  7. Having just spent over $200 to get the pooch and the feline fitted for their new Houston home, I was wondering for a moment why people have pets also. However, I have never been without one for more than a few weeks my entire life. Nothing like puppy smooches when you come into the house, and nothing in the world is as calming as a purring cat in your lap.

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  8. LOL…sweet furry moments. Life…..purrssssss & litter sifting. LOL.
    Got a big high maint….furry one in my lap now. Want attention..eye keyboard as if big cat toy to be chewed on. Yikes!

    Gotta go!

    Smooch,
    The Tart

    Like

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