Why do people keep pets? In general terms, most people derive pleasure from the relationship with their furry / scaly / feathered friend, but for others, the reasons are more complex. It would appear that they don’t get enough aggravation in the normal course of events, so they have to supplement their supply. You could almost go so far as to say they need an auxiliary spouse.
A friend of mine called me the other day while he was spending some quality time with his hound. The conversation – and I use the term rather loosely – went like this:
“It’s me – I’m taking the dog for a walk, that’s why she’s barking. Hold on. Shut up. SHUT UP! Hi, you still there?”
“Hold on. Stop that. STOP THAT! Hi, you still there?”
“Hold on. Come here. COME HERE! I’m not going to tell you again. DAMMIT, COME HERE!! Hi, you still there?”
“Oh no. It looks like she’s going to take another dump and I only brought one plastic bag. I have to stop her. Gotta go, bye!”
I tried to call back, because I wanted to find out why he called in the first place and I was dead keen to discover the outcome of the bowel-blocking exercise, but his phone was off. Clearly he was having a shitty time.