The other night at rehearsals we received our Stern Talking To. This is when the designated wielder of the big stick (usually the stage manager or production secretary or both) tells the members of the cast that they are completely crap and the production is doomed (DOOMED! I TELL YOU!) unless we get our act together and all start pulling in the same direction etc. etc.
This is done in the mistaken belief that it will shock us into understanding the Seriousness Of The Situation, or galvanise us into Redoubling Our Efforts or something. Quite predictably, it doesn’t make a damned bit of difference, but it’s Traditional. Nonetheless, they can take solace in the fact that we are all superb actors, because not a single one of us rolled our eyes heavenward during the entire farcical episode.
I kind of tuned out about halfway through, because I was going through my mental checklist in preparation for Monday:
* Warm jacket – check
* Lace-up shoes – check
* Anti-nausea pills – check
* Last Will & Testament – check
* Brown pants – double check