Hippy days are here again

I was having coffee with my old friend Salman last night. We first met sometime around the mid-nineties when he was hiding out in Port Elizabeth (and let’s face it – if you want to give the appearance of having vanished off the face of the earth for a while, PE is a pretty good place to do it). He’s been living here for several years now and although I’m not 100% sure what prompted his move to the Fairest Cape, I suspect that the Eastern Province Herald may have been onto him. He just couldn’t resist writing letters to the editor pointing out their more obvious editorial and journalistic blunders.

The conversation turned (as it is wont to do) to hippies. A disturbing situation has begun to emerge in Cape Town: Hippies are everywhere. I’m not just talking about the stereotypical long-haired, vacant-eyed, sandal-wearing, deodorant-shunning type of hippy that we all know and love. I’m also referring to the more worrying type of credulous, crystal-owning pseudo-hippy with a day job. The sort who isn’t quite ready to go the whole hog, but is nevertheless willing to swallow any kind of new-age nonsense that a magic rock salesman wearing a tie-dyed muumuu is able to dish up.

Look, I don’t want to piss on anyone’s beliefs here, but if someone – even if he has a really cool hippy-guru name like Zandro of the Blue Morning or some such – tries to sell you a piece of laminated cardboard that will “block cellphone radiation”, it is still (in Salman’s immortal words) a load of balls.

No matter how compelling the explanation about how “the Zeta Pattern disrupts the bad energy by transmogrifying it into positive Brainiola Waves” may be, the item on offer is still not going to shield your cerebellum from anything other than coherent thought. It is particularly ironic that the brain of the hippy who would typically be taken in by this sort of claptrap seems to recognise (on a subconscious level, at least) that it needs all the protection it can get.

What bothers me the most is that while other people are happily making money out of all this stupidity, I haven’t quite figured out the trick yet. What bothers Salman the most is that he personally knows a lot of hippies.

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24 thoughts on “Hippy days are here again

  1. Hippy is the new religion. It’s easier to convince a christian there’s no such thing as god, than it is to convince a hippy that the pharmaceutical companies aren’t out to get them, that colloidal silver can’t cure anything, or that homeopathy is a load of bollocks.

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  2. What I can’t understand is why hippies are so willing to disbelieve anything said by the government, media, business and other parts of the ‘establishment’, yet they will believe EVERY alternative (can’t be mainstream, of course) cult/religion/belief they come across even where they seem at odds with each other.

    They’re more inflexible in their beliefs than any ‘boring, conventional suburbanite’.

    And, with the latter day variety, all of the above applies to them but scratch under the surface and you’re more likely to find a capitalist than a socialist.

    However, they’re good to poke fun at. Especially since I was incubated as one but fled the nest with a highly developed cynicism. 🙂

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  3. Wow, have you ever been sucked in by The Man, man. Come on over to the commune and we’ll see if reading your Tarot and tea leaves over a hallucinogenic or two can help us get to the root of your hang-ups.

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  4. moonflake: I see that you and Salman have something in common.

    IITQ: Yet another service we provide here on the other side of the mountain.

    whatalotoffun: Certainly. No argument there.

    anne: Oh, but I did. I declare your hippy name to be Erratica Constellation.

    Reluctant Nomad: You betrayed your heritage? What would the invisible green gnomes say?

    andrea: Get your weed-smoking, soap-hating, hippy-loving ass out of here before I call the cops! I declare this comment box a hippy-free zone.

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  5. First, where can I get a “fushia” tinted version of this cardboard that will “block cellphone radiation?” My guru, Tannie of the Catnip Patch, says that fushia will not interfere with the cool vibes of moi’s Tarty aura. (Oh & I need it to not block my Blackberry data flow, K?)

    Second, I thought Hippy & Yuppie were the same thing, no?
    *wink*

    Smooch,
    The Tart

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  6. Caroline: That is tantamount to apostasy. You can stay.

    Esther: Unless, unless it’s been designed to work in all dimensions.

    Ol’ Hoss: I suppose I would too – if that’s what the choiced boiled down to.

    Jocelyn: If Hippy & Yuppie were the same, it would go a long way towards explaining this whole “lost generation” thing.
    P.S. your fuchsia tinted radiation-blocker is in the post & Zandro says to tell Tannie “Hi”.

    Tammy: Long past time.

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  7. OK, I am totally convinced now that you like only get Hippies in Cape Town Brew. Out here in Jo’burg you only get coo-girls and yuppies en in pta kry jy net blerrie kakmakers.

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  8. Now that the original hippys ARE the establishment it was bound to come back and bite them in the ass.

    We have quite a few neo-hippys roaming about our goovy part of town but only when the weather is suitably accommodating.
    To control their population the government (the original hippys)captures, neuters, and employs them Mon-Fri from 9 to 5.
    On their days off they are free to wig out!

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  9. I always thought that I had been overlooked, and born late. I would have loved to have been part of the original hippys. Free love, good music, mind-altering drugs, and badly painted protest signs. The sporadic showering and no deodorant thing may have been a deal-breaker though. OK, and the no meat vegetarian thing would have turned me off too.

    So hippies are making a come-back are they? bummer. It’s too late for me. I like driving decent cars, going on nice vacations, wearing nice clothes and eating at elegant restuarants. And I definitely wouldn’t want anything screwing with my cell phone reception!
    So what exactly do these new breed of hippies stand for?

    3T

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  10. Ah, the perils of weekend hippiedom. I just blame it on all that damned patchouli oil. That stuff literally smells like dirt. Now if someone could sell me something to ward off that smell, I’d gladly buy it. Tie dyed muumuu or not.

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  11. Spookie: I don’t think Gauteng suits the lifestyle.

    Peas on Toast: As you say, most annoying.

    Reluctant Nomad: ‘…brief flirtation at an impressionable age…’. Yeah, I dig. Who hasn’t had one of those?

    homo escapeons: It’s the circle of life.

    3T: So sad to be born out of time. I’ve always thought I should have been a trilobite. As for what neo-hippies stand for. I haven’t a clue and I’d be willing to bet very few of them know either.

    Terri: What did I say? All I said was it was a good place to hide. I should know, because I hid there for seven years.

    LiVEwiRe: They do sell something. Quite effective, too. Goes by the name of ‘nose plugs’.

    angel: Ah, we are of one mind. I’m sure I bumped into you on my astral travels.

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