Cartman’s revenge

A rather quaint element of Capetonian existence is that we – and by “we”, I am referring to the citizenry as a whole – still have carthorses. Yup, despite Cape Town’s pretensions to being a modern, hip, happening city, it has the vehicular equivalent of a pair of brown paisley bell-bottoms lurking in the back of the closet.

Every now and then you come across one of these sad beasts plodding along, seemingly oblivious to the teetering load of scrap metal on the cart behind it. The driver, in turn, appears equally oblivious to the angry build-up of traffic behind him.

The presence of carthorses saddens me for two reasons. Not only do these poor animals have a – well – dog’s life, but also very few are toilet trained, so they pretty much do as they please (to coin a phrase). As a result, large dollops of digested carthorse breakfast decorate the suburban byways. When there has been a light shower (i.e. enough rain to liquefy the abovementioned unmentionable matter, but not enough to wash it away), things get nasty. Especially when you’re puttering along on a scooter and a luxury German sedan speeds through a nearby puddle of poo porridge.

Word of advice to the novice: keep your helmet visor down at all times.

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18 thoughts on “Cartman’s revenge

  1. Dreys are still seen in London, but the Shire horses are extremely well treated. I must also add that a cart stacked with barrels of delicious bitter and ale looks a lot better than a cart of scrap metal.

    I once read that the time it takes to get from Newlands to the city in the rush hour is longer than it was in the time of the pony trap.

    So much for technology.

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  2. Bless. There is something to be said about horses drawing carraige behind…but I feel the same way. Those poor things. Can’t be much fun. Although shitting where it wants to must have its perks. Even if one does have to watch where one is walking…

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  3. Who wrote the book “Spots on Kyknoord’s Visor?”

    Hu Flung Dung

    Apologies, I couldn’t resist! It’s this typing work. I have finally GONE MAD!

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  4. Poo porridge, too funny … but maybe not to the helmet wearing crowd! The streets of Cape Town are sounding more sordid daily what with the puddles & the poo. ; ) (Now where do I get some paisley bell-bottoms, they sound delightful ~ in pink, natch!)

    Smooch,
    The Tart
    ; )

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  5. Your Pajero-driving wanker friend from a couple posts down doesn’t sound half so bad, now, does he…
    But look at it this way: it’s all meant to be good luck anyway.

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  6. Esther: Be thankful you only have to deal with the image, not the reality.

    Injoka: That depends whether you’re stuck behind a horse & cart or not.

    Peas: As long as you stay out of the road, you should be fine.

    Katt: You realise that I’m going to demand compensation for that?

    The Tart: C’mon – if you can’t find them in Texas, then they don’t exist!

    anne: You called it. Had I not been at the receiving end, I would have been amused by the fact that the car in question was a BMW.

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  7. Touché, my love!

    (I think Bush shipped them all overseas somewhere ~ the pink ones anyway *sigh* He kept the poo-bells though. *wink*)

    Smooch,
    The Tart

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  8. moonflake: I try not to think about it. That helps, sometimes.

    Sweet Tart: Ol’ Dubya has a lot to answer for. Imagine sending the pink ones overseas. For shame!

    andrea: Always happy to oblige, Andrea. See if you can find your platforms while you’re about it. After your last ‘large art’ piece, you deserve to walk tall.

    juliana: Either that, or I suffer from a strange imagination.

    Ol’ Hoss: I’m guessing the landfills in Oregon are filling up pretty quickly.

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  9. Have you been employed by the “Keep Tourists Away from Out Fair Streets” lobby?

    At least when the petrol runs out there’ll be a few horses around to collect all those scrap cars.

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  10. Caroline: Certainly not – I take the attitude that a savvy tourist is a happy tourist. Just another service we provide here.

    angel: Exactly.

    LiVEwiRe: Nah. Fortunately, I had my visor down.

    Miss Cellania: It’s absolutely essential equipment. Now more so than ever.–>

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