Bartender, gimme a single

I’ve been attending a divorce recovery course. Technically, I’m still only separated, but it’s really only a matter of time before I’m upgraded from paradivorcée status to full membership of the Put Asunder Club (TM).

The legal process has been somewhat hampered by the fact that there are lawyers involved, but this is to be expected and isn’t worth bitching about*. In any case, since it’s more likely that Hell’s snow-cone export programme will be turning a brisk profit before Mrs K and I reunite, the inevitability of the outcome is not in question. We are both hopeful that it will be some time before the universe collapses inwards, but I’m not going to hold my breath just yet.

Fortunately, the organisers of the course don’t discriminate against underachievers, so I also get to hang out with other social pariahs and be miserable. It’s kind of like being a Goth, but the music is better and they don’t have a strictly enforced dress code.

* Actually it is, but I don’t want to sidetrack myself into another rant about the legal profession.


20 thoughts on “Bartender, gimme a single

  1. Is the course helping?

    The only time I tried anything like it – a group for people wondering where their career was going – it all got diverted by people having affairs with each other – ding! – ah so is that the idea?


  2. Oh dear, my feelings are hurt, like Anne says … we are just not crazy enough 4 you. Hmm. Maybe we should rally & up our nuttyness so U don’t leave us 4 that other “group.”

    For starters, I bet FM will share his blue lipstick too. I will hunt down Mr. Shirt & find religion or get to the bottom of my starched shirt fettish~ that process will be book worthy 4 all kinds of reasons. Then U can write the book, Andrea & Caroline will illustrate it … Anne’s foot will be the cover! (homo escapeon will be our agent, natch!) Mmm. Just-a-thought. ; )

    The Tart


  3. Wow. A whole bevy of underachieving social pariahs in black lipstick for you to choose from. Now I know why you’ve signed up with the Misery Loves Company crowd. You just want to get a leg over!

    PS I see that you and Jocelyn have advanced your relationship to the pet name stage, though I’m not sure ‘Trat’ is terribly attractive…


  4. anne: What can I say? I’m a social pariah butterfly.

    forgottenmachine: Yeah? Well, mine’s waterproof and there’s no way you’re getting your grubby mitts on that.

    Caroline: Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Now I’ll have to poke my eyes out. Thanks a heap!

    The Tart/Trat: It’s not you, it’s me…
    Anyway, moving swiftly on – I’ve forwarded your business plan to my bank manager and he says he’ll get back to me – at least he did, after he stopped giggling.

    andrea: I’m the only underachiever – all the rest are properly divorced. BTW if I just wanted to get leg over, I’d buy a bicycle.


  5. only a single, when you start asking for the tripples you know the madness has taken over. I have been where you are and can empathise.


  6. Hey , Kyknoord….

    I went thru it okay, so Im sure you will too. When I asked the Law fraternity why is cost so much , ya know what they said ??? – Cos its WORTH IT !! Haha !!


  7. So about how much are we looking at here? Being a life member of the single club I have absolutely no clue what kind of damage a divorce does to your pocket. But i think anything more than R100 is too much money.


  8. Aaargh.
    I am also currently separated-and-not-yet-divorced. There was no need for lawyers, so we are trying a DIY divorce. Not even remotely as easy as it sounds. I’d rather fork out the money to a (skanky) divorce lawyer!


  9. M: No thanks, I’ve never been into threesomes.

    Dolce: Thanks. A case of kyk noord…

    Peas on Toast: I’m counting on it. Happy quaffing.

    Bosbefok: That joke will a lot funnier two years from now.

    Lyn: How much does a divorce cost? How much have you got?

    Jam: There’s still time. How much have you got?

    Chitty: You need an excuse?


  10. Phew! I’m so glad that I chose you as a port of call on my self-imposed ritual flogging Friday. It’s so refreshing to see lawyer-bashing is still alive and well over here.

    And having read your more recent post first, I see you’re getting your leg over after all – is a scooter the two-wheeled vehicle equivalent of a Rampant Rabbit?

    tdbeag – a character in the Dyslexic Da Vinci Code


  11. Luckily I did the ‘Mediation in the Kitchen of a Judge’ route and screwed the lawyers out of their blood money VAMPIRES!!
    The control over language that lawyers have been awarded is ludicrous. The whole system benefits only the vampires, exspouses and kids are put through the ringer just to prolong the ticking on the fee clock.


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