There hasn’t been much in the way of news on the other side of the mountain. Not so much because things haven’t been happening – they always do, with shocking regularity – but more because my perception of things hasn’t been up to the task. It’s a bit like seeing the world on a misty day – the shapes are there, but the colour and detail is washed out.

This might have something to do with having had a double helping of asphalt for breakfast at the end of last week. Scooters are great for cutting through the traffic, but when the traffic tries to cut through a scooter, it all ends in tears. Mine, to be precise. Oddly enough, the scooter came through the ordeal remarkably well. All I had to do was shake the loose bits off and it was good to go.

I wasn’t so lucky. My legs look like something out of a Wes Craven movie. There goes my career as a pantyhose model.


32 thoughts on “Smackdown

  1. owwie! that couldnt have been pretty. You know, when people tell you to ‘break a leg’ you don’t have to go and take it so seriously…


  2. That is why doctors call motocycyclists “organ donors”. Look after yourself. Oh, and tissue oil is great for reducing scars – maybe we can save your pantyhose-modelling career yet! 🙂


  3. Sounds painful, sorry to hear about the fall.

    However, you may be a bit wrong about the pantyhose modelling being a non-starter as it sounds like your legs are nicely laddered now.

    You could become the ultimate realistic pantyhose model.


  4. I think The Scooter needs to learn how to cook & wash dishes … whilst you are whisk around town enclosed in a 4 wheeled thingy! ; ) I am getting my panties in a wad just thinking about all this. ; ( Pantyhose modeling ~ fishnet?

    The Tart
    ; )


  5. *cackle* sorry KN, I have a mental picture *giggle* (shouldn’t laugh) *splutter*

    Ok, ok…arnica oil is also good for brusing….



  6. I just hope my other half doesn’t see this post. As it is she won’t let me get a motorbike. If she reads this, there won’t even be a scooter at the end of the tunnel.

    Get well soon and I, too, am expecting some leg-modelling-pics!


  7. It’s a good thing I have all those pics of your legs stored on my PC – your career can still flourish! All kidding aside, I do hope you are doing better. And you never know when Wes Craven might be hiring for his next project…


  8. Did you ever see the pics of Barry Sheen’s X-rays? He had more stainless steel plates and screws in his legs than bones.

    You could, of course, go into modelling biking leathers.


  9. Dude, you have GOT to stop falling off your scooter! I’m sure there are much less painful ways of getting that trendy ripped-jeans effect.


  10. Thankfully it wasn’t your face. Do you have one of those full face helmets? I had one on when my scooter dumped me years ago and it saved my face from being scraped along the highway. We wouldn’t want your precious good looks to be wasted like that. Although, chicks do dig scars. Hmmm…maybe you should start wearing full leathers too when you go scootering. It’s really quite sexy. Scars and leather. Yeah, that’s good.


  11. Spookie: And fewer stars, preferably.

    Katt: Okay, but the $20 application fee and a picture of yourself in the nude also applies here.

    Fence: Things could always be worse. I could be James Blunt.

    Pro/Edel: Any motorcycle accident you can walk away from is definitely not serious.

    anne: Sounds a bit like a laxative commercial.

    Lyn: Oh, I see… it’s just an expression, is it?

    It is the question: Safer certainly, but not much good as a mode of transport.

    Don: We don’t call it road roulette for nothing.

    Kate: At least I’m sacrificing myself for a noble cause. Incidentally, I am a card-carrying organ-donor.

    Reluctant Nomad: If reality was so great, there wouldn’t be any need for models, would there?

    Jocelyn: I will survive! Yeah, definitely fishnets.

    Dolce: Don’t worry, my ex also enjoys ‘physical theatre’.

    DelBoy: Your other half is a lot smarter than you or I

    LiVEwiRe: I’ll keep my eyes peeled.

    Inyoka: I seem to recall that he also had a screw loose in his skull.

    Terri: This isn’t a hobby, you know. I’m still waiting for my $20 application fee & nudie pix.

    Jocelyn: You too. No favouritism on the other side of the mountain.

    Ol’ Hoss: Still here. Mostly.

    zazzafooky: Oh wow, have I missed you. Glad you’re still here, too.

    Anduin: Perhaps you wouldn’t say that if you saw my face.


  12. I am glad to hear that you are OK. Close call eh? They don’t call them donorcycles for nuthin.

    It is amazing how invisible you can be even if you are atop a neon orange scooter with matching helmet.
    Scary stuff.


  13. Glad you made it out of the ordeal in ONE piece. Just when I was thinking of getting one of them myself… will think a little harder.


  14. Tarmac roasties are the Worst! bad luck..when the scabs drop off try rubbing in some sort of Vit E extract to get rid of the inevitable scars?
    Otherwise expect a drop in your lobola value…



  15. homo escapeons: Yup. It’s my super power.

    Peas on Toast: Next, you’re going to be telling me I can’t be a concert pianist. The cruelty!

    Tammy: I agree. Only when they’re old enough to pay their own medical bills.

    M: They’re usually okay as long as you stay off the freeways.

    angel: Ta 🙂

    The Doll: I have other plans…

    Cherrypie: You’re right. Red really isn’t my colour.

    WretchedToad: I’ll bear that in mind. A bit late for the other scars, though.


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