Second helping

It’s quality audit season here at the office, so this means many of my colleagues are competing to see who can do the best Chicken Little impression. My favourite part is when they burst into my office the day before the audit, laden with files and miscellaneous bits of paper and start babbling at me. Usually contained somewhere in the stream-of-consciousness drivel are the words, “what must I do?”

Ah, so nice to be needed. Nevertheless, any potential warm and fuzzy feelings engendered by my temporary elevation to major cog in the machine are sharply offset by my irritation. The thing that gets to me is the sure knowledge that the person staring at me with wild rolling eyes across my desk wouldn’t be there if they had bothered to pay attention at the last audit.

So, in my official capacity as ‘Guy Who Deals With Quality Stuff’, it falls to me to try and instil calm and find some way of leading the gibbering supplicant towards the light of truth – or proper planning and verification records, as the case may be.

Just call me The Idiot Whisperer.

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13 thoughts on “Second helping

  1. LOL!!! “The idiot Whisperer”…… oh thats funny. Now I know what the definition of our Quality Assurance Manager is. I can’t wait to tell him he’s our resident Idiot Whisperer. Brilliant!!

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  2. Idiot Whisperer… could you spare some time and head over to my office… there are a few idiots that need whispering to 🙂

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  3. That is good, when you are up in JHB again, I too have many idiots in our office that need whispering to LOL, if that doesn’t work we will try the Idiot yeller!

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  4. Spookie: I’m going to have a sign made for my door.

    Katt: Not much point if the empty vessels refuse to be filled.

    anne: Hmmm… [gears grinding]

    M: Happy to oblige. I don’t work cheap, though.

    NMOTB: And Idiot Bludgeoner also has a nice ring to it.

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  5. Whahaha. The Idiot Whisperer. I like that. I had Super Nanny, the child whisperer earlier this year. Yes I am still alive dammit! Just not inspired to write about my state of being of late. Hi KN. (me waves)

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  6. moonflake: Maybe we could get a bulk discount at Acme Printers?

    angel: Well okay, but only if you model it for us. I’ll bring the bucket of water.

    Ol’ Hoss: They’re generally a bit dry and tend to leave a bitter taste in the mouth.

    Peas: Neither do I. I’m a better actor than my colleagues suspect and the cleaver in my desk drawer is nice and sharp.

    Bee: Cool, I’m glad you’re still with us. I’d better cancel that wreath I ordered.

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