I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me*

You know how long-term use of marijuana is supposed to make you stupid? I’m beginning to wonder whether long-term anger might not have a similar effect.

Let’s say, hypothetically** speaking, that you have a ready and seemingly inexhaustible source of irritation – like a particular contractor who interrupts you every five minutes with queries about things that normal people consider to be blindingly fucking obvious. The strain of trying to remain polite and professional under such circumstances is enough to drive anybody’s blood pressure up to dangerously high levels.

When the thumping in your skull has been sustained for any length of time, the tiny capillaries in your brain just give up the fight and start bursting one by one. I used to be a reasonably bright guy, but I suspect that my IQ has dipped a few points in the past couple of hours.

I feel this inexplicable urge to drink beer and watch wrestling.

* …than a full frontal lobotomy. An oldie, but a goodie

** or, in fact, actually


25 thoughts on “I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me*

  1. I think said contractor and my previously mentioned d#%k-brain and f$%k-face should be put in a room together and allowed to irritate eachother into mind numbing stupors…

    You know what, life is far toooo short to allow people to get to you like that.


  2. i rate that this fool of a contractor needs a good lesson, the next time they ask u something stupid, just ignore him. if he queries this simply inform them that u dont speak to dimwits… or u could become irratating, ask him questions like “is grass green?” he’ll soon get the picture.. if he doesnt, then pray that the fruit fairies bruise his fruits for all eternity…


  3. I’m too scared to leave a comment here Kyk. I’ll be back when you have sorted out this anger issue. Ok? Still friends? Just so you know that even if your IQ dipped 20 points, you will still be much cleverer than mois!!!!


  4. If you cant beat them join them…
    Wrestling really becomes fun to watch after 6 beers, alternatively when the contractor queires something, query him on why he needs the information.


  5. M: It’s getting shorter all the time.

    Shortypam: Now that’s what I need: a black-clad hit squad of fruit fairies to go round and sort him out.

    BUDDESS: Everything’s cool. The hole in my forehead from slamming it repeatedly on my desk has relieved the pressure nicely.

    Anon: If those are my options, I’d prefer to beat them.


  6. I never knew that long-term use of whacky bakky made you dumb. Hell … the things you learn off the ‘net 🙂 bloody amazing.
    Now I will try and type in the word verification thingie without stuffing up.


  7. Fight that urge Kyknoord! Fight it, I tell you! The world doesn’t need another beer-guzzling, wrestling-watching nimrod! 😉 Or, just smoke weed. It may have the same effect, but you’ll be relaxed and happy. (I’m joking. Sort of..)



  8. You’re just looking for an excuse to watch wrestling. Even though you know we wouldn’t judge you.
    Not to your face/comment-box, anyway.


  9. In your high-pressure customer-oriented job, you know that dim-witted twats are part of the territory.

    We all face them and have to deal with them. I suggest you tell him to go down a dozen beer and watch some wrestling, then get back to you when he’s sane.


  10. Dolce: Okay.I.Won’t.At.Least.Not.For.A.While.

    jam: But thinking is just such hard work

    Luke: A trove of information, is our ‘net. All true, of course.

    3T: It doesn’t? What about monster truck races? Can I watch them, instead?

    Rrramone: The choreography.

    andrea: That’s right, rub it in!

    anne: I need an excuse? Well excuse me, then.

    Brian the Mennonite: Not if you carry a big fly swatter, they aren’t.

    Within Without: I did hear that they were interviewing applicants at the monastery.


  11. Watch Wrestling!! No KN – I was just starting to believe that not all men were cave men!!! Drink beer if you must – but please, please don’t watch the wrestling!!!


  12. Oh yes, I do feel anger and/or irritation can drive one insane. And insanity surely comes with a drop in IQ. Most of the time. (There are exceptions, I suppose, like Mozart and Eddie Izzard…)


  13. ShutterJane: It’s a deal! All I need to do is figure out how to get my contractor into to the fax machine. There! Oops, that was the shredder…

    Spookie: Ugg. Glaaargh! Wugga wugga.

    Peas: It’s that fine line they keep on about. I think geniuses are just nutbags with good PR. (There are exceptions, I suppose, like Mozart and Eddie Izzard…)


  14. i like to think of my anger festering inside of me until i literally explode on some more unsuspecting victim – festering not insanity, i think to think there is a difference!


  15. Bah, I’ve got one, too. Only she’s at least 65 and I feel guilty everytime I even entertain thoughts about her lacking more common sense and intelligence than… I don’t know. A really unintelligent person without any common sense.

    So yeah. Guilt and anger. Good combo.


  16. TwoFlower: Literally? Well, I’m certainly glad you managed to get it all back together :->

    moonflake: I’ve been downsized. They’ve clipped the “whisperer” part off my job description.

    Toryssa: It’s really fine to entertain such thoughts – except when they put their feet up on the coffee table and eat all the chocolate muffins. Bastards.


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