Dear Discovery Health
I have been a member of your esteemed medical aid for six years. During this time, you have contacted me no fewer than fifteen times to try and convince me to subscribe to your Vitality scheme. On every occasion, I have declined the offer. Note: every occasion. If you review the recordings of the conversations I’ve had with your call-centre drones, you will discover (hah!) that I have been quite unequivocal about this.
I would have thought that after six sodding years you would have finally taken the hint and changed my status from “potential sucker” to “recalcitrant hardarse” in your customer database. While I applaud your obvious diligence in continuing to pursue my money despite the odds, perhaps I should point out that if Vitality was such a fantastic deal (as opposed to the total fucking waste of money that it actually is), you would not have to keep on trying to sell it to me.
Perhaps I should also point out that even the most thick-skinned of traffic light beggars will eventually get the message and stop harassing you if you tell them to piss off enough times.