It’s been many moons since the Win a Date with Kyknoord competition. The winner (the delightful and ever-popular Peas on Toast), & I had a standing arrangement that she could collect her prize any time she found herself in the Fairest Cape. And so – just before Christmas – she did…

I should perhaps mention that the first time I went on a blind date, the experience left me a bit scarred. I’d been asked to escort a friend’s girlfriend’s friend to a university residence function at the Cape Sun. What should have been a pleasant evening turned vaguely surreal when my date got totally ratarsed on sparkling wine and started flirting outrageously with the guy sitting next to her, while his date spent the evening looking daggers at me – as if I had any control over the situation.

Fortunately, my date with Peas was a lot less horrific. Actually, it was brilliant, but I like to use the word “horrific” wherever I can. We met for lunch at Wakame in Mouille Point+. This was the first time we’d met in person – in fact, we’d only spoken on the phone once (five minutes earlier for a few last-minute directions to the restaurant), so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Ms On Toast was, however, suitably spectacular. She arrived resplendent in white, complete with sparkly body lotion, crystal chandelier earrings and a distinct Jennifer Connolly look to her.

In keeping with the pretentious theme, we duly did the whole air-kiss thing and shortly thereafter, I was drawn into the fascinating World of Peas. It was an age before either of us looked at the menu with any degree of seriousness. I think our waiter had given us up as a lost cause, because the look of surprised relief on his face when we eventually ordered was something to behold. If truth be told, the service was great. Sadly, the food was less so, but this was a relatively minor detail that did little to detract from my enjoyment of the afternoon.

Peas seems to have this uncanny ability to put you at ease: before I knew what was happening, found myself telling her the Dark Shameful Secret of what I do on Saturday nights. The discussion also strayed onto topics such as individuals who annoy us++ (and why); fascinating toxins; the smoking conundrum; spider bites; my love affair with the tarmac; the pros and cons of kelp-swimming; Third World Ant‘s interesting warning; exes; currents; never-weres; and The Project. This is by no means an exhaustive list. That would take too long to type.

So there you have it. I have been promised a return match, in Johannesburg of course, so all offers of sponsorship will be gratefully and graciously accepted. Incidentally, I think that thing going “boing” in the background is Hope springing eternal.

+ It was originally supposed to be dinner elsewhere, but we thought that the opportunity of “doing lunch” in one of Cape Town’s more pretentious venues was too good to miss, DAH-ling. Also, I couldn’t resist the semantic pull of a place that looks north out on Table Bay.

++ If you think you are one of these people, you probably are.


17 thoughts on “Toasted

  1. Hiya Kyk!
    Wow, what a splendid rendition of the lunch!
    I am sitting here with Dick reading this, and he had a good chuckle over the sparkly cream (he hates it – gets all over his car seats).

    I will be writing about it when I get back to Johannesburg and I have some time to write properly.



  2. I can’t wait to get to Cape Town at the end of the month. And thanks for the tip – scratch Wakame off the restaurant list. πŸ˜‰

    Sounds like you had a great time. Look forward to reader Peas’ version.


  3. Very touching I’m sure, and I’m glad you and Peas had such a good time, but having brought it into the public arena via this post, would you mind elaborating on what it is, precisely, that you do on Saturday nights? And why said activity could be deemed “dark” and “shameful”? Because I have these pictures in my head you see …. P


  4. Excellent to hear that you guys managed to organise the date!

    Aaah, I enjoyed Wakame when I was there in June, although I was more there for wine & a conversation than anything food-related.

    Dark & shameful Saturday night goings on in Cape Town that aren’t dark & shameful…
    You’re a barman in Bronx?
    You are reading to old ladies in retirement homes?
    You enjoy lying back with nothing more than a bottle of witblitz & a porn mag?


  5. I annoy alot of people but I’m not flattering myself in thinking I made your list. And I’ll still help sponsor your little journey but I at least want a t-shirt or nifty window decal for my efforts. πŸ˜‰ (Glad to hear you enjoyed your win-a-date date!)


  6. peas: ALL over? Never mind, I don’t want to know.

    luke610: Me too. BTW, how come I never cracked the nod for an invite to Herm-anus when you were there?

    del: Wakame is okay, as long as you’re there for the view.

    katt: If not, it was close as dammit.

    kevin: And I’ll start calling you sweetie-pie. Deal?

    parenthesis: If you buy me a cup of coffee and a doughnut, I’ll tell you.

    champagne heathen: Not even close. Good guesses, though.

    terri: It wasn’t entirely blind. More like a ‘diminished vision’ date.

    angel: You should try camomile tea before bedtime.

    livewire: Will you settle for a cool blinkie?


  7. You have dark shameful secrets? I am envious already! πŸ™‚
    I hope I made the list of annoying individuals. That would mean I’ve accomplished one of my resolutions for 2007. πŸ™‚


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