Toasted

It’s been many moons since the Win a Date with Kyknoord competition. The winner (the delightful and ever-popular Peas on Toast), & I had a standing arrangement that she could collect her prize any time she found herself in the Fairest Cape. And so – just before Christmas – she did…

I should perhaps mention that the first time I went on a blind date, the experience left me a bit scarred. I’d been asked to escort a friend’s girlfriend’s friend to a university residence function at the Cape Sun. What should have been a pleasant evening turned vaguely surreal when my date got totally ratarsed on sparkling wine and started flirting outrageously with the guy sitting next to her, while his date spent the evening looking daggers at me – as if I had any control over the situation.

Fortunately, my date with Peas was a lot less horrific. Actually, it was brilliant, but I like to use the word “horrific” wherever I can. We met for lunch at Wakame in Mouille Point+. This was the first time we’d met in person – in fact, we’d only spoken on the phone once (five minutes earlier for a few last-minute directions to the restaurant), so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Ms On Toast was, however, suitably spectacular. She arrived resplendent in white, complete with sparkly body lotion, crystal chandelier earrings and a distinct Jennifer Connolly look to her.

In keeping with the pretentious theme, we duly did the whole air-kiss thing and shortly thereafter, I was drawn into the fascinating World of Peas. It was an age before either of us looked at the menu with any degree of seriousness. I think our waiter had given us up as a lost cause, because the look of surprised relief on his face when we eventually ordered was something to behold. If truth be told, the service was great. Sadly, the food was less so, but this was a relatively minor detail that did little to detract from my enjoyment of the afternoon.

Peas seems to have this uncanny ability to put you at ease: before I knew what was happening, found myself telling her the Dark Shameful Secret of what I do on Saturday nights. The discussion also strayed onto topics such as individuals who annoy us++ (and why); fascinating toxins; the smoking conundrum; spider bites; my love affair with the tarmac; the pros and cons of kelp-swimming; Third World Ant‘s interesting warning; exes; currents; never-weres; and The Project. This is by no means an exhaustive list. That would take too long to type.

So there you have it. I have been promised a return match, in Johannesburg of course, so all offers of sponsorship will be gratefully and graciously accepted. Incidentally, I think that thing going “boing” in the background is Hope springing eternal.

+ It was originally supposed to be dinner elsewhere, but we thought that the opportunity of “doing lunch” in one of Cape Town’s more pretentious venues was too good to miss, DAH-ling. Also, I couldn’t resist the semantic pull of a place that looks north out on Table Bay.

++ If you think you are one of these people, you probably are.