I am typing this through gritted teeth. You could say that I am ever so slightly pissed off.
You see, I was in the process of making an on-line reservation, when one of my more annoying colleagues sauntered into my office and made himself at home. I didn’t think it was possible for a single entity to classify as an infestation, but there you go – learn something new every day.
“Give me a moment – ” I implored, imploringly, “I’ll be done shortly”
“This won’t take long,” he lied, like the lying liar he is, before launching into a lengthy and exceedingly dull rambling monologue as a preamble to offloading some of his work onto me.
When the fucker finally left, I discovered that I had lost out on the flight I’d been trying to book and had to go for a much more expensive seat. Okay, I realise that this hardly constitutes a global crisis, but it’s still irritating+. I subsequently sent my colleague an e-mail offering him the opportunity to make up for being such a retard by swallowing a tankard of drain cleaner or jumping out of the window and plunging onto the tarmac below. He declined, of course. Inconsiderate wanker.
Dear me, it looks like I’m just not going to be able to get around to that urgent work he wants me to do today.
+ and it looks like I’m going on an involuntary cabbage diet