For all practical purposes

There’s an old joke about a scientist, an engineer and a chocolate muffin. It’s essentially a panel-beaten version of Zeno’s Paradox (involving Achilles & the Tortoise) and neatly illustrates that theory isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be+. I was going somewhere with this, I definitely was…

Anyhoo, I think what I’m trying to say is that life is made up of moments where accuracy is of lesser importance. For example, when the answer to “What’s wrong?” is “Nothing”, you know it’s (probably) not true, but sometimes it’s just less hassle to pretend that it is.

Now, according to my buddy, Cedric:

“…if someone brushes you off three times in a row, it’s time to move on because you’re just going to embarrass yourself. When I am actually interested in someone, I go out of my way to not brush them off or, at the very least, make alternate plans. Maybe it’s just me…”

Source

The thing is, a lot of people struggle to say no. Although a simple “take a hike, buttface”, would be simpler and kinder in the long run, it seems too brutal, so we make excuses instead. Fortunately, thanks to many of the conveniences that modern 21st Century living affords us, we now no longer have to worry about coming up with a suitably plausible excuse on the spot. Gone are the days of “Er – er – I can’t. I, um – need to – er – irrigate my colon” We can screen our calls and respond to text messages or emails at leisure. UNfortunately, if you’re on the receiving end, it makes it a lot more difficult to decide whether it’s true, partially true or a complete fabrication.

However – and this is the important bit – for all practical purposes, it makes no fucking difference. None. Zip. Nada. You can agonise about it if that’s your thing, but really, the only decision you need to make is how many times you’re prepared to let it happen. If you’re like Ced, three is the magic number.

+ unless it’s a theory related to proctology, in which case, it probably is