I’m sorry – finish where???

I was pondering (in my Brain-like way+) Chitty’s recent thesis on the Nice Guy. I certainly haven’t researched the matter as exhaustively as Señor BangBang has, but I can attest to the apparent validity of his claims. For those of you who couldn’t be arsed to follow the link++, here is a brief synopsis:

Nice guys have vaginas.

Not, I hasten to add, that there’s anything specifically wrong with that, but it sort of puts the brakes on any kind of hard and heavy heterosexual intimacy taking place.

Chitty contends that confidence is the key to getting the girl. While I don’t disagree with this viewpoint, I would, however, like to add a subtle semantic refinement to the mix. I believe it’s not so much confidence that makes many a lass sit up and take notice, as cockiness.

Implicit in this attitude is a promise of potential delivery, so for women who are experiencing similar feelings as, for example, The Granny Wrangler or Parenthesis, this makes an enormous, throbbing, back-arching difference.

+ taking over the world is just ONE of my many interests

++ you’re right, ‘zilla. It DOES feel good


32 thoughts on “I’m sorry – finish where???

  1. Kyk…I hate to admit it, but you’re right. It’s the cockiness that does it. And for some reason, even though I hate cocky guys, I end up falling for them. Every. Single. Time. It’s like a drug. The cockier they are, the more into them I am. What’s a girl to do? Embrace the cock(iness)! 😉


  2. Wow! It seems like there could be quite a market for the provision of shaggalicious relief to the female bloggers out there! If only my standards were as low as my rates.


  3. Nice guys are lovely. although nice guys can also be pretty cocky, when the mood strikes them. You can be confidently nice, you know. secure in your… gentlemanliness? (I’m biased i gues. I have a very very sweet “nice guy”).

    Kyk, you struck me as a very nice man. Your mom would be proud. I would feel safe introducing you to my ladyfriends, if they weren’t all a) taken and b) crazy.


  4. Yeah, and what makes a boy sit up and wolf-whistle is the quiet confidence that the girl’s going to be a mother of a pain in the ass.


  5. nicky: Like a drug? So you’re saying you’re an addick?

    salman: Integrity is the name of the game, or maybe I’m thinking of Fear Factor?

    betenoir: My mom is proud of me. She appreciates the fact that I always dispose of the bodies and do a bit of light dusting before she comes over for tea.

    anne: Ah yes, but the fundamental difference is that women have a tendency to be a little bit masochistic, while men have a tendency to be little bit thick.


  6. Ah, yes. The old Wolverine vs Spiderman debate.

    And yes, you’d be surprised how many of life’s ‘sticky’ situations can be understood by way of the comic book.

    But nice guys, remember this: Peter marries Mary Jane and Wolverine ends up alone and bitter……


  7. Dude. Wolverine des not win because he’s not a nice guy, but because he has a) better hair and b) has freakin’ adamantium claws that spring from his hands . Who would not want that?


  8. nicky: That sucks.

    tenmiles & betenoir: Wolverine vs Spiderman? I just knew you were going to go all philosophical on me.

    other-duke: Only in the case of a Plutonic relationship.


  9. I think I said it best on my blog: “A girl wants a friend and is willing to screw to have one. A guy wants a screw and is willing to be a friend to have one.” Whoever gets what they want without giving in wins. The loser just ends up either being used as a sex object or as a “special friend.”

    Guys who say that just want to be friends give up their right to complain about it because they are liars.

    No. I haven’t read the original article. I will, though.


  10. ‘freaking’ adamantium claws, betenoir?

    Sorry, just had this image of the claws freaking out every time they emerge.

    “Aaaargh!!! I don’t want to be stuck in someone’s gut! I’m talking to my therapist about this!”

    My mind goes strange places sometimes…..


  11. Please. Wolverine shagged his way across half of Japan, as I recall. Sure, he’s Canadian and a little on the short side – but I’m with the ‘beast on this one – those sideburns, the claws… *gggggrrrrrowlll*


  12. Always the best man, never the groom syndrome Kyk? Methinks you have misunderstood me. I moved on from Mr. Right to Mr. Right-for-now years ago. And as most of your female visitors will vouch, “now” can range for anything from twoto ten minutes – if you’re lucky 🙂


  13. methinks there is a somewhat fine and fragile line which hovers on a sliding scale between being cocky and being a cock. therein lies a man’s problem. how far is too far?
    and it doesn’t matter where the nice guys finish, as long as we finish first…


  14. Pingback: Odious little rodents … [with apologies to any squirrels in the vicinity] « Parenthesis

  15. cedric: “…I think I said it best…”. My, but aren’t we humble?

    tenmiles: If your mind happens to run across my mind somewhere out there, please send it home.

    ‘zilla: Not forgetting the yellow & blue spandex, of course.

    parenthesis: A case of “live for the moment”, huh? Hey, whatever blows your skirt up.

    granny wrangler: “…A fragile line which hovers on a sliding scale…” Interesting metaphor. Do you play the violin, by any chance?

    wendz: People to see, places to go, things to buy. Busy, busy, busy!

    montchan: There’s a difference?


  16. So if nice guys have vaginas, doesn’t that make them women? And if that’s the case, they can’t be guys, so what you’re really saying is that nice guys actually don’t exist.
    Just as I suspected… 😉


  17. parenthesis: You must be looking forward to winter and the Northwester.

    cedric: Apparently.

    fuzzy logic: It seems Cedric is not alone.

    100 words: Trust me, it’s more of a curse.

    angel: It’s how you play the game 😉

    terri: I can’t find any flaws in your logic, so it certainly looks that way, doesn’t it?


  18. There is a fine line line between being confident and being a complete asshole..I mean cocky.
    Confidence is inner (which is exactly where you’ll be with the ladies..OK no that’s cocky) and cockiness is all exterior bluff.
    Cockiness, as in I hope that they think that I think that I am confident but I know that I’m a complete asshole so I will ignore this self-talk and go way out of my way to project my will upon others.
    Actually if you are trapped with a Y chromosone there is no discernable difference.


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