I’ve always thought that when you are repeatedly exposed to something unpleasant, you become immune to it over time. At least, that was Rusputin’s strategy and it seemed to work – up to a point. Obviously, he needed a bit more practice with bullets, but the general principle was relatively sound.
However, in the case of all these sodding stakeholder meetings I’ve had to attend lately, it has the opposite effect. Sort of like radiation poisoning. Each subsequent exposure seems to accelerate the brain-into-cheese conversion process. Accelerated retardation. Now there’s a cool oxymoron, huh? Oxymoron… Ahahahahhahahahahaha. Ahem.
Although I still manage to remember to put on pants before I leave the flat, I have begun to exhibit several disturbing symptoms, such as mouth-breathing and drooling on my tie. This just in: it looks like I forgot to shave this morning.
Oh gods, I think I’m turning into Homer Simpson.
the other side of the mountain 
at least with radiation poisoning there’s no need to shave. just ask litvenenko.
oh i’m sorry was that poor taste?
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see, this is where the coffee comes in handy… It acts as an antidote to the “radiation poisoning” effect. Well, to an extent. Also if you drink enough you can excuse yourself 800 times to go to the loo, and then quickly run round a bit and wake yourself up. Or, as I have done (in japan, where all the meetings were in freakin Japanese) stash a magazine in the cubicle.
if questioned, use the word diaorrhoea very loudly.
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“Tsarry, tsarry night….”
Sorry.
Look around you. If you’re sitting in a control room with lots of monitors and flashing buttons, for the love of god, please don’t press anything…….
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who needs their daily dose of dilbert when they’ve got kyknoord, eh? stakeholders. if there’s one thing that irritate me more than shareholders, it’s stakeholders.
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“Our goal is to efficiently customize professional information so that we may endeavor to professionally engineer principle-centered products to meet our stakeholders needs” – who needs stakeholders when we have Dilbert, eh?
http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/games/career/bin/ms.cgi 🙂
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Doh!!!
If Rasputin’s hypothesis hold true, them surely frequent and vigorous sexual activity is an effective means of birth-control?
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Your hypothesis certainly gives new meaning to the phrase “biting the bullet” Revo 🙂
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granny wrangler: I don’t think he’s going to be up to answering too many questions these days.
betenoir: The meeting may as well have been in Japanese. I suffered from irony overload and switched off shortly after they said, “We want to do things differently with this project. We don’t want it to be just talk”
tenmiles: I wonder what the big shiny red one does?
ant: – especially if you’re a vampire.
parenthesis: That’s weird. I don’t seem to remember seeing you there.
rev: Un. Okay? Un. As in UNpleasant. Don’t make me hurt you.
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Ah, I see your point. So what you’re saying is that as long as the sex is UNpleasant, meaning that if you’re having lots of bad sex, this will be an effective form of birth-control. But beware the day you actually enjoy it…..
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Kyk – Homer is not so bad. He’s kind of endearing. Drooling and all. Donuts aside, you know you’re going to have to eventually find a way to cope with these things. Perhaps repeatedly screaming “Doh!” in the course of the meeting will provide you with some much needed gratification.
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Homer Simpson without his pants on, Donald Duck stuffing his face on donuts…
My cultural references are all over the place now.
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It could be worse — you could be Ned Flanders.
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Button or pill?
Coz you should have taken the BLUE ONE! But now you are BLIND to the TRUTH!!!!!
Fox and Mulder FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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rev: I wouldn’t exactly put it like that. It’s a more a case of sufficient quantity making up for lack of quality.
jam: Gratification? Are you and Rev a tag-team?
anne: Comical, isn’t it?
andrea: Absoloodlie-doodlie, Didrooglie!
tenmiles: Mmmmmm… pillllls.
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🙂
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🙂 🙂
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LAWD. So that’s what’s been happening? I did a clockwork orange this morning and came to work with only one made up eye.
It’s the stakeholders fault.
Buggers.
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Oxymoron. What a great word!
Lots of Homers in my business too and not the poet either!
Looks like you got spammed too! Bloody morons!
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Desensitization is for wimps and mouth-breathing is sexy. Well, only of you have a slight overbite. Or you’re a shih tzu. 😉
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2 cents
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“Gym (geim?) Geim?”
[then Homer sees people pumping iron…]
Oh!!! Geim!
🙂
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Methinks Rusputin’s theory needs more research. It’s still just as bloody depressing over here 6 winters later as it was for the first one so no de-sensitizing here. At least I’m not drooling on my tie though.
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mwaaaaaaahahahahahaha… so thats why i left home without my laptop this morning!
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dolce: Cool! This could be the new Grunge.
del: Excellent. There’s nothing quite like that sense of belonging.
livewire: Gezundheit!
odie: That makes very little cents.
peas:
terri: Well, it’s only a theory. What kinds of ties do you wear?
angel: Welcome to the Lowest-Common-Denominator Club. Subcription fee is 2 cents.
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ooooOOO shiny! Thanx for a concise entyr that went straight for the giggle fit.
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Cheese…yum! I likie da soft cheese…like da melrose…hmmm…and da bloo cheese
It’s been a really long time since I’ve heard a “new” oxymoron – well done! *claps*
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Ahahahahahahahaha!!!!
O. M. G., massively funny.
Makes me think there’s contemporary malign majick afoot whose new, modern incantations involve invoking demonic forces by use of words like “stakeholders” and “paradigm,” phrases like “penetrating the channel” and “productizing our customizations.”
And of course, no smoky offerings and incense needed — simply the odor of stale coffee cooked on the burner and left-over donuts will compel dark spirits to manifest under a practiced mages’ control.
Who knew demons looked like the managers in “Office Space”?
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