Name: K.N. Pepper
Date of Birth: The mists of time
e-Mail: stalkme@yourperil.ok
Qualification: As long as it’s not raining
Personal details:
- I bruise easily
- My wife didn’t really leave me for another woman
- I have an Abba song as a ringtone
Professional associations:
- Member of the Royal Institute of Meetings Engineers
- Fellow of the South African Association of Time-Wasters
Key skills:
- Time travel
- Mind reading
- Magic wand waving
- Invisible report writing
- Fool suffering
- Jaw clenching
- Extreme restraint
Outside interests:
- None (for the foreseeable future, apparently)
References:
Have I mentioned that I hate my boss?
the other side of the mountain 
Ah, but in those misty times did you or did you not have a pet pterodactyl?
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You don’t wear a Post Office Uniform, or have acess to an AK47, do you?
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Which ABBA song? Cuz between you and me they all rock. Nothing makes you want to pick up the phone faster..
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Fool suffering? Hey, I have a Master’s in that… you think we could start our own business? I suffer fools like nobody’s business. Although I seem to have developed this weird tic in my left eye.. do you have a tic? I think we should both have tics. it could be our “thing”.
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Time travel could come in handy…you could start two months ago?
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I sooo misread ‘Time-Wasters ‘
I thought you said ‘Wine-Tasters’
Now that’s a sought after professional association
(at least in most circles I frequent…which probably doesn’t say much for the quality of wine consumed)
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That mind-reading thing could come in handy – when can you start?
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You’re gonna have to share your secret to success on invisible report writing…
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you should audition for Heroes, they power of invisible report writing could be well used in the next season.
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Hmmm, I don’t see ‘jumping through flaming hoops’ in your resumé… Can you make a noise like a scapegoat?
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An Abba ring-tone?! OK, that’s ruined the friendship
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ex Granny Wrangler: No, that was later – when I was at university.
lost-in-jozi: Be afraid. Be very afraid.
godsgimp: I’d rather not say, because then it’ll be stuck in your mind all day and I couldn’t live with the guilt.
betenoir: I do have a tic. It makes everyone flee.
louisa: Sorry, but next week I’ll be starting three months ago elsewhere.
rev: The quality never counts as much as the enjoyment derived from the experience.
terri: I knew you were going to say that.
jeanpant: There are two categories:
(a) Reports that I have written that nobody seems to see, never mind read; and
(b) Reports that don’t actually exist, but colleagues somehow seem to remember me writing them.
moonflake: Nah – way too exciting. They have a standard to maintain.
mrs B: Oops. Sorry, I forgot to attach my certificates.
idle layabout: That’s what you said after the Lunch Bar incident.
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This is good, except for the Abba ring tone thing.
Can you do my CV too, please?
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Reports? We classify our documentation at my work as WORN. Write Once, Read Never.
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Hah, K.N. Pepper… clever 😉
You’re a special kid, Kyk.
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ABBA ring tone … I like that!
U R stock worthy, honey-bunny.
Smooches,
The Tart
; *
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katt: Sorry, it’s a package deal. I’ve already got “money, money, money” all picked out for you.
idle layabout: at least we’re keeping the fishmoths well fed.
kevin: I’m glad you’re feeling better, Kev.
the tart: I sincerely hope that’s a typo and you don’t actually want to boil me until I turn into a gravy cube.
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What kind of magic wand? Why am I the only person wondering this?
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mjw: Hey, it was just the one time and I needed the money to pay for my studies. Jeez.
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I heard that once, wound up where a fella says, “I am going to be impotent, and I am going to dress impotent.” Like your hero, I think he had a speech impedder.
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Er, I tried that email address and it didn’t work.
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dude- this was bucking frilliant!
but you might wanna check that email adress- i keep getting a message saying “mail undeliverable”… oh, and i must just say i agree entirely with granny wrangler- she’s wonderfully eloquent!
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