David Bullard denies impotence rumours

I'm not, okay?

Excerpt from a recent telephone interview with the self-appointed Pot-Stirrer General of the local blogosphere:

“One of your gripes about the majority of blogs is that they are excruciatingly dull”
“Precisely. Mind-numbingly so”
“So what exactly is it about your life that makes it more interesting than – for example – your typical mommy blog?”
“Oh, you know – stuff”
“Such as?”
“Interesting stuff”
“I see. Well okay, now what’s the story behind your impotence?”
“W-what?”
“Didn’t you say you were the most impotent person on the SA blog scene at the moment?”
“No, you idiot! I said I was important, not impotent. Important”
“Sorry, my bad. Not impotent, then. It’s just that nasal twang of yours. Are you perhaps fond of doing a few ‘lines’ that don’t require a keyboard – if you know what I mean?”
“Certainly not!”
“Taking elocution lessons from Irene Bester, maybe? Hello? Hello…? He hung up”

No actual David Bullards were harmed in the making of this drivelly piece of drivel.

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32 thoughts on “David Bullard denies impotence rumours

  1. Wahahahahaha! Kyk you’re such a card.

    I met him yesterday.
    This is what happened.

    Him: Do you read my blog?
    Me: No. Why would I want to do that?
    Him: Well, you’re a blogger.
    Me: Yes, but why would I want to read yours?
    Him: Because I’m above you in the Amatomu rankings.
    Me: Am I bovvered? Face? Do I look bovvered?

    Or something like that.

    Like

  2. Has nobody else noticed that his surname can be turned into Dullard and Bollard?

    who is he anyway, and why is he suddenly in charge of Blog Law? is he important? like, a rock star or something?

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  3. xGW: Ja, apparently last year’s office party was quite revealing.

    betenoir: Well, he has been known to compare himself to Eric Clapton, so you never know.

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  4. He had a TV show that no one watched so I guess he’s now taking it out on those of us that were too busy writing blog posts to care.

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  5. mjw: Ah. That explains the Irene Bester tie-in.

    betenoir: Agreed. It’s a bit heavy-handed, but we need to set an example here. BTW, wasn’t he in that show where he sang “Kyle’s mom is a stupid bitch in D minor”? That was rather good – oh, hang on, I’m thinking of Eric Cartman.

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  6. In retrospect (not my favourite place…), I think I might be getting him confused with another minor SA celebrity.

    Kinda says it all, though, doesn’t it?

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  7. Do you think he’s getting sick of that photo yet?

    Standing like that with a blank piece of paper so anyone can add their own banner is almost as foolish as signing a blank cheque!

    I think if he knew how much that photo was going to haunt him he would have worn a nicer outfit? 😉 This can hardly inspire anyone to envy the alleged bags of money he makes?

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  8. I still don’t get who this guy is. And why everyone KNOWS who he is, except me. I’m always out of the loop. probably because you’re all JEALOUS that I’m so AWESOME!!!!

    ahem.

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  9. KN, are you sure he stirred the pot? I was under the impression that he smoked it. That would explain the impotence and a whole lot more! :mrgreen:

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  10. Right so I just wasted a good 15 minutes of my life finding out who this person is, via my good friend Google. Turns out he’s no-one. I like the interview though 🙂
    Now, who is Irene Bester? (Google is tired – had enough for one day)

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  11. louisa: At least you know he doesn’t piss his money up against the wall on frivolous purchases. Regarding the sign – so many possibilities, so little time: “No style / please help / God bless”

    betenoir: Okay, it’s time to step away from the percolator.

    chitty: No way, if he was into Vitamin Green, he’d be a lot more paranoid.

    mrs B: What, you too? C’mon, David Bullard – the singer / songwriter?

    terri: No-one? You people are so mean. Since you ask, Irene is a continuity announcer on SABC. She has a – shall we say – unusual style of speech: “…jawniss frinniksahting lookit ohwd buhwd’ngs…” [Translation: join us for an exciting look at old buildings]

    revo: Look, even if Irene gets someone to read this to her, words like “elocution” aren’t going to mean a damned thing to her.

    Like

  12. Hahaha, classic. Is it just me, or did he dye his hair for his latest video blog/vlog/vodcast/not blog/whatever the fuck they’re called…

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  13. what, *shakes head* WHAT? I think I’ve lost the plot here… (anyway, with a face like that, it doesnt really matter whether he’s impo(r)tant or not. Bottom line: He aint getting any. Ever*.)

    *If by chance he does though: I pity the fool who touches Mr.Limpy.

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  14. You’re all giving him the publicity he wants. It’s pretty damn clever… we should’ve all just ignored him and carried on regardless. No such thing as bad publicity eh?

    I bet he has ugly children.

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  15. I think he’d be cute if he had long hair, mascara, a pirate’s hat and a moustache … but yeah, I reckon he must be very important, cos KN posted a whole post about him innit?

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  16. coda: Not sure, but that’s definitely not a new pullover.

    jeanpant: Oh, I don’t know – fame is a powerful aphrodisiac. If you don’t believe me, check out barneydinosaurissohot.com

    kev: He’s everything Dr Marcus would’ve been if he’d broadened his scope a bit more.

    anicker: I’m rather fond of chestnuts. Roasted, of course.

    luke: Exactly.

    angel: He has broad shoulders and wide coat-tails.

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  17. I ordered my husband the Dr Max Powers HGH Spray a month ago and I am very pleased with the results and what it had done. We both have definitely noticed a difference in the firmness and stamina of his erections. His problem with occasional impotence has vanished and his libido has increased. This spray has worked wonders and I definitely recommend it for those looking for solutions to impotence.

    The Max Powers HGH Spray suppose to be a workout spray – therefore its super healthy..but it also helped my husband with his erections and improved our sexlife…

    Like

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