Can we talk?

Over the past two weeks, some anonymous clown has been phoning me on my mobile. Of course, I’m only guessing it’s the same person, but it seems rather unlikely that random strangers (who all just happen to have caller ID protection turned on) would choose to phone me at roughly the same time every single day.

And at roughly the same time every single day, I disdainfully press “reject” and consign the call to the electronic oblivion it deserves. I felt a bit bad doing this the first couple of times, but since the caller also refuses to leave a message+, that feeling wore off faster than you can say, “Leave a message, moron!” I’m sorry, but if you can’t be bothered to let me know who you are, then I can’t be bothered to talk to you. I think that’s a fair exchange, don’t you?

I know that I could put a swift end to this pointless stupidity, but psychologists often stress the importance of ritual in one’s life. Besides, I’m enjoying the game way too much to give up now. I’m interested to see how long it takes for them to crack. Oh that’s interesting. I see Vodacom’s profits are up.

+ Maybe this person has an astonishingly good reason for withholding his or her number, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason involves trying to sell me something or offer me yet another credit card


28 thoughts on “Can we talk?

  1. If there’s one thing I hate more than those private numbers, it’s a ‘please call me’. Some idiot wants to talk to me, but doesn’t think the conversation is worth the money? I wait until the third one before calling back, if I do.


  2. OOOoOooOooooHHhHHh I hate private numbers. HATE them.

    If you’re going to call from a private number, I am not going to answer. Leave a message and I’ll call you back.

    Funny though, people calling from Private Number never leave messages.

    Dirty slime of the earth.


  3. Perhaps it is a stalker? Instant rock star status…

    Then again (and again) it could be Discovery? The irony: a mystery call from discovery.


  4. play on! i used to have some muslim dude who routinely sent me messages wishing me well over the fast and “As-Salamu Alaykum”. to this day i regret SMS’ing him back one day and telling him he had the wrong number… we had a connection, and now it’s gone! (in your case though, it’s a distinct lack of connection… my bet is it’s the fuckers from blue bean, calling from a call centre in new delhi.)


  5. If it’s the same time every day you sure its not an automated call? You could be hanging on a machine.Can you hurt a computers feelings? I’m inclined to say yes you can – just install vista, but maybe there’s other ways… 😉


  6. doug: You’re too kind. No, really.

    kevin: I have a friend who seems to be afraid the evil pixies will eat his testicles if he broadcasts his number, but at least he leaves messages.

    mjw: I agree. I seem to have got your share, though.

    anicker: *snort* Ahahahahaha! Sadly, it will forever have to remain a mystery. I doubt it’s a stalker, though. My No 1 Fan at least has the good grace to use her boyfriend’s phone.

    betenoir: – or in this case, an unnecessarily high telephone bill.

    ant: Damn. I was hoping it was Amex.

    chewey: Install Vista…? Ah shit, another perfectly good keyboard ruined.


  7. That’s annoying, sure. But you can still talk to them and tell them to f-off when you feel like it.

    How about the people who phone looking for someone else and keep phoning even though you tell them it’s the wrong number and they then rudely bang the phone down in your ear…(before phoning again and again and again). I used to go with “IT’S STILL THE WRONG F-ING NUMBER @SS-HOLE!!!HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU NEED TO HEAR THAT?!” but my brother has a much better solution. He just tells them to hold on he’s going to call the other guy – and then he waits until they ring off. Longest one to date is 20 minutes. 🙂


  8. jeanpant: How many times are we going to have this conversation? I’ve told you that Kobus the cockroach doesn’t want to come home. Let’s just leave it at that, okay?

    xGW: That’s just mean! Is this because I sold your number to The Voice? I already apologised for that. What do you want from me – blood?

    louisa: I save that strategy for telemarketers who phone me at work.

    mrs B: Nah, David assures me that he dropped his phone in the loo last week and he’s still waiting for his replacement handset.

    cedric: That would go some way towards explaining the recent rise in lightning strikes.


  9. damnit…I just got a private number missed call thingie on my phone. That now really pisses me off! Leave a facking message man!!!

    That said…why don’t you do call divert or something…this would only work if you get these phonecalls at particular times during the night (dodgy)…would be funny ha ha funny!

    Ooh, just got the phonecall back…glad I picked up!


  10. I think you should rather embrace this in a a zen type fashion,
    You have stalkers – ergo, you are now famous.
    It had to happen sooner or later 🙂


  11. Trade you. Mine calls in on a toll free number and leaves a message in Spanish. Well, a partial message. Same guy, same voice, same word and a half -> recording. Why go through this just to be a time waster? Hey, mind if I give him your number?


  12. kabintsimbi: He’s phoning you as well? Busy fellow. Listen, do you think you can you pass on a message for me?

    luke: Shite! In that case, I’m going to have to give serious thought to whether I should stay or – er – go.

    livewire: Sure thing. I’d be happy to ignore him on your behalf.


  13. Anything that reads ‘private number’ or ‘withheld’ on my phone is abruptly ignored.

    Even if I’m expecting a call from the lottery. They’d leave me a message. One hopes.


  14. hey, nice advice about the fist fight – problem is, i think Carlotta – the ecstacy munching female – might come out more intact than the others. Oh, that’s where your ‘I’m not in to violent men/woman’ comes in…. Anyway, peas enjoys publishing my e mails – which i have only recently discovered – much to my disgust..

    nice blog by the way, Dove


  15. chitty: True, but South Africa has so many illegal aliens at the moment, he should feel right at home here.

    xGW: Ugh. English cuisine is truly awful.

    peas: At least you don’t have to worry about that any more. It doesn’t look like the lottery’s going to be up and running again anytime soon.

    other-duke: Certainly worth a try. It would be fun if I could hook the phone up to my iPod and bombard the caller with muzak.

    dove: Ja, Peas is shameless. I forgot about Carlotta and I do agree that she would be your likely winner. Hmmm… perhaps a new strategy is needed – something involving tapioca and lederhosen, maybe?


  16. As you know what time of the day they call, you should record a voice message especially for your mystery caller (assuming they even listen to the voicemail). Something like “Give up f@$£wit or leave a message after the tone”.


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