A free lunch

You ever have one of those “Hot damn! Hey, waaait a minute…” moments?

It’s been busy here at the office. So much so that the frenzied activity at the Beaver Society’s Annual Dam Build-o-Thon looks pretty torpid and sluggish by comparison. Unfortunately, these periods of frantic hyperactivity are often accompanied by a need+ to work on weekends.

This irksome requirement might be more tolerable if it involved actual work, but since it usually consists of attending pointless meetings that the callers of pointless meetings weren’t able to squeeze in during the week, it does little to encourage inner tranquillity.

I was mentally preparing myself for one such session of Saturday stupidity last Friday evening, when my boss announced that I could “take the day off”. He’s obviously more observant than I give him credit for, although my facial tic and the fresh tooth marks on the desk may just have tipped him off about my deteriorating mental state. The euphoria lasted about thirty seconds before it suddenly occurred to me that I’m supposed to have Saturdays off+++

Clever bastard.

+ as determined by someone further up the corporate ladder from yours truly++

++ and therefore capable of dropping enough shit on my head to make me think twice about arguing

+++ Apparently the toy comes free with the Happy Meal, too


21 thoughts on “A free lunch

  1. here’s how you can fix this:

    from now on, whenever he suggests you work on Saturday, sidle up to him, bat yu eyelashes and smile blankly, saying: “i do enjoy our time together. I feel so close to you now. like we share the same thoughts… I know what you’re thinking even before you think it.”

    then proceed to buy him wilted orchids every so often, as a “symbol of your special relationship”. Wonder aloud if maybe the other staff are jealous of you “spending so much time together”.


  2. In one of my more recent jobs I started on the Wednesday and on Friday the new boss asked if I could come in on Sunday at 9am to help prepare for a meeting. I was so shocked I said yes. The joke was 3 months later the company got into financial trouble and I was retrenched! I don’t do weekend work now!


  3. Go to Saturday meetings in your usual Saturday leather S&M attire. I’m sure your boss’ll get what crucial recreational activity he’s been interrupting and realise that he’s also been a very bad boy…


  4. ant: Touché

    betenoir: Tempting, but risky. It could backfire severely. I think I may just stick to the wood chipper plan.

    louisa: I do, which makes it even more annoying.

    fionnuala: It would be rather ironic if it was all the overtime that scuttled the company finances.

    jeanpant: – or I could go for the truly horrifying and wear a Barney the Dinosaur outfit. “I love you, you love me…”


  5. This is not a good situation, KN.
    It reminds me of a time when I’d booked a holiday away and then someone resigned and my boss asked if I would consider NOT taking my holiday as The Company Needed Me. I told him not a chance – he then asked (just a tad threateningly) if I valued my job or my holiday more. I said, “Do you really want me to answer that…?”
    I went on my holiday and when I got back I got a raise and a promotion.
    I don’t believe in being bullied.
    Enjoy your weekend off!


  6. The bastards had probably organised a big screen, snacks, beers and hooters girls for the Rugby match in the boardroom on Sat. (Sorry, honey gotta go to work on Sat. – yeah right)

    You just weren’t in their budget Kyk, so you didn’t crack the nod.
    Sneaky little buggers aren’t they.

    And to make things worst, they attempt to instill a sense of guilt in you in that you were graciously allowed (as is your right) Sat off while they all toiled in the office.

    If I was you, I would demand just compensation.
    AUS vs SA, 16 June, Newslands – Box seats would be nice!
    (if you get a spare ticket, give me a shout)


  7. Ah yes. Take away what’s rightfully yours then act as if it’s a present when it’s returned. Awesome.

    You know… I should’ve started out like you from day 1… anonymity seems to be the way!


  8. terri: The last thing I need now is a promotion. I’m already stretching the Peter Principle envelope beyond safety limits.

    revo: Will do. Take a deeeep breath.

    kevin: There’s still time. I’m sure we’ll find you by Googling IHAB or DIAF.

    xGW: So what’s new, pussycat?


  9. chitty: There may not be any free lunches, but at least there are naked ones.

    peas: Actually, I prefer chicken.

    mrs B: C’mon, A-types need us to put their achievements in context. You can’t rise above the herd without a herd.


  10. xGW: It must be really rough when you have to go to the muffler shop.

    dolce: I agree, although with him, I think it’s more of an instinct than a skill.


  11. mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaaaa… memories of my previous employer here! i hate how they manage to make themselves sound so gracious and giving! urrrrgh!


  12. They break down your defences and when you are too tired to realise it, they give you something that was already yours.

    I think they use the same strategy in the military.


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