Crisis management

I was watching Fear Factor on television+ last night++. It occurred to me that this show – unlike most other reality TV – really does tap into the human condition+++.

This is not to say that the dearth of readily available scorpion pits dotting the landscape is the only thing preventing your average person from casting him or herself into a scorpion pit, but – hmm… maybe I should start a petition? Who would I address it to, though? Minister of the Environment, perhaps?

Sorry, before I get sidetracked, I wanted to make the point that despite claims to the contrary, people seem to have an affinity for crisis. We appear to be drawn to the dramatic, because the alternative is – well – dull. Our wittiest anecdotes involve things like alcohol; open manholes; giant puddles; doggy-do; disastrous relationships and so forth. Sometimes all of the above. This is probably why older people look back with wistful longing on the days when they were young and exceedingly stupid and sigh, “Good times…”

+ because watching it live is, y’know, SO lame. That reminds me – how come they never have short, flat-chested, accountant-types on the show? I’d still watch. No, really.

++ If you think that’s interesting, wait until you read my exciting monograph on the weather. Oh wait, I’ve already done that. Damn

+++ Well okay, the human condition other than the willingness to do anything for money

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23 thoughts on “Crisis management

  1. That’s exactly it, Mr Noord. Which is why those billion odd on the other side of the globe are fond of their blessing/curse “may you live in interesting times.”

    (pssst. I had to turn it off when they were drinking the egg. Gag reflex was setting it. *gag*)

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  2. I think this programme is more a case of “the fascination of the horrible!” i myself want to kotch when I see somebody eating a bloodball!

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  3. after I accidentally ran over a petite colombian drug dealer with my car (and blew two tyres) and they sent a transvestite minion yakuza swordsman after me, I spilled coffee on my white pants and had to walk home half-naked through times square. then a dinosaur attacked my kitten. And made me eat pig eyeballs.

    Ha! beat that suckers!

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  4. dolce: I missed that. I must have been in the shower.

    lost-in-jozi: Yeah, but I reckon that’s more than offset by seeing some steroid junkie confidently declaring, “I am SO winning this thing” and then being soundly beaten by a girl half his size.

    revo: Nah, you’re thinking of Beer Factor.

    xGW: That was you???

    betenoir: My daughter forces me to watch Barney with her. How’s that?

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  5. there is absolutely nothing wrong with eating liquid horse manure on tv to win a pile of money. Hell, I’d do that, but I’m a short, fat, flat-chested accountant type.

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  6. The problem is… hindsight is not only 20/20, it’s 40/20. You see things really clearly when you’re older. When you’re in the situation you cannot really appreciate that years down the line you’ll be saying shit like “good times…

    Oh, the infinite paradox of life!

    Someone call Nietzsche.

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  7. Can;t watch that programme. It’s physically impossible. After watching some bird bob for apples in a tank full of slithering snakes and an albino anaconda.

    It was the albino anaconda that did it.

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  8. luke: That explains these feelings of deja vu I’ve been having.

    bete: Could take a while with those uniteeth of his. Come to think of it, that’s worse.

    kevin: Good is dead.

    peas: I disagree. It was the butler that did it.

    revo: Or an albino butler maybe?

    fence: It sure beats bobbing for apples in the snake tank. As usual.

    peas (again): Maybe we’re dealing with less of an “Anaconda” and more of a “Leptotyphlops bilineata” here?

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  9. I am pretty sure they get their stories from the Karoo (Fear Factory).
    Just last weekend I went to the annual Bush Pig Classic and saw:
    1: A plane land on the 9th hole (while people were playing golf)
    2: People down weird looking shooters (all day long) before driving home
    3: A beautiful blond girl eat a raw tjop
    4: A man set his hair alight (very entertaining)
    5: Men pole dancing (and unfortunately stripping)
    6: Someone burn his jean pant in the fireplace
    7: A very brave girl wearing a low-cut top to the bar (ratio: 71 horny men to 1 woman). Er.. oh, yes. that was me. tsk tsk.
    Prize money? Nope. just “good times”

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  10. Terri – What did I win what did I win?? (throw the ball throw the ball!). Consider yourself lucky / young / untainted – doggy-do stories can Hound you forever.

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  11. You gotta love reality TV. I’m still waiting for Survivor: Special Forces. Think about it… take 5 Marines, 5 SAS, 5 Navy Seals, and 5 Mossad agents… drop them on a jungle island with nothing but the clothes on their back and a leatherman, and the last man standing wins. It would be awesome. It’s got human condition in spades.

    Of course, all the camera-men would be dead on day 1.

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