Doesn’t pay? You mean they’re doing it for altruistic reasons?

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I was ridin’ down the street, concentratin’ on truckin’ right+ when I spied a bumper sticker on the back window of the 4×4 in front of me. “FIGHT CRIME” it declared, in large, bold letters. “A noble sentiment”, thought I, until I was close enough to read the fine print (shoot back). This set off a fit of laughter that very nearly caused me to swerve into the adjacent lane and embed myself in the passenger door of a luxury German sedan.

I’m not a strong advocate of violence++, but I think I understand why the sticker dude would want to escalate the situation. I don’t think I know a single person who hasn’t been directly affected by crime.

Hands up anyone who hasn’t been a victim of crime? Okay, I see one hand at the back. Yes, you – the gentleman wearing the sleeveless jacket with all the pockets – how long have you lived in South Africa?

Ah. Sorry no, this isn’t the queue for the Robben Island ferry. I think your group is over there talking to that nice policeman. Looks like your tour bus has been stolen.

I reckon we should just let organised crime run the country and be done with it. Things might actually improve, because although we already do have criminals in the government, the current bunch isn’t exactly organised, is it?

+ more like “concentratin’ on keepin’ my eyeballs from freezin’ and fallin’ out of my head”, but that doesn’t have quite the same rhythmic purity

++ unless it’s in a recreational context

24 thoughts on “Doesn’t pay? You mean they’re doing it for altruistic reasons?”

  1. Don’t go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge, eh Kyk? Such cynicism and in one so young … keep it coming, it’s one of the reasons why we love you … photo shopping for words it may be, but you are an absolute master 🙂

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  3. “… the gentleman wearing the sleeveless jacket with all the pockets.” LOL. I saw one this morning in Strand Street (actually did a double take* because I was so amused), but he had a light meter around his neck, so I suspect he may have been a member of the subset of the collective that makes movies.
    *Oops. Film pun(ish). Sorry.

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  5. I’ve always thought that we should just tax crime.
    It exists, it won’t go away and is an industry worths probably billions of rand per annum.
    It like to see the revised tax form, maybe get a rebate if you were a victim of crime.
    Get the hijacker or armed robber to give you a VAT invoice.

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  8. Again, I’m going to have to side with Pratchett: I like the idea of a thieves’ guild, assassin’s guild: you pay your fee and are assured a level of safety.

    it is considered absolutely unforgivable for an Assassin to kinhume for any reason other than being paid to do so. Of course, to distinguish themselves from common hitmen, the assassins’ code also demands that they be paid a very large amount to do so. After an inhumation they must by law always leave a receipt.

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  9. parenthesis: Why, thank you. Of course, I maintain that cynicism is just good sense.

    mjw: Maybe the thing around his neck was the latest in techno-bling. Apparently it’s the rage in Singapore.

    xGW: I see…

    revo: Draw up the petition. I’ll sign.

    ekke: Yeah! All it needs is a name. Hmmm… how about “rugby”?

    betenoir: Let’s march to Parliament and present our demands! Oh wait, maybe not. The last time I did that, I got mugged.

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  14. pwpoisson: One can but hope.

    peas: You know him personally? Wow. Listen, if he tells you that his mom said you should look at the sun, he’s full of shit, okay?

    parenthesis: What’s that old joke about the definition of democracy? Two wolves and a sheep voting on what’s for lunch.

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  21. I do enjoy reading about Ankh-Morpork, this chaotic, sprawling city of thieves. Seeing that everyone has read Pratchett, I was wondering if anyone had read Italo Calvino‘s short story collection Numbers in the Dark? There was a story where there was a city populated by thieves. At night, everyone would head off to burgle their neighbour. Upon coming home the thieves would find their homes empty of furniture and so they would never get richer or poorer.

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  22. katt: Scary, isn’t it?

    parenthesis: I think it’s a bit premature to start talking budgets before we’ve done a proper scoping exercise

    ant: I knew you’d get it :mrgreen:

    fatman: Sounds eerily similar to Lavender Hill here in the Mother City.

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