Is she really going out with him?

My ex has decided to venture out onto the treacherously slippery and turd-strewn path of internet dating+. Of course, I presume she means “internet dating” in the generally accepted sign-up-and-post-a-profile-and-see-what-happens sense, rather then the I-will-stalk-you-mercilessly-until-you-agree-to-go-out-with-me-or-die version.

I have mixed feelings about this.

Obviously, I was a tad bitter and twisted during the divorce. However, after the legal dust had settled, I was able to clear away some of the emotional debris cluttering up my psyche and I discovered that I still had a residual supply of genuine fondness towards her.

Consequently, I’m pleased that she is undaunted by the challenge ahead. However, I’ve also seen what passes for eligible bachelorhood in Port Elizabeth, so it’s with a degree of ghoulish glee that I look forward to hearing all the horror stories that this exercise will inevitably produce.

+ A walk on the wild oats side, if you will

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40 thoughts on “Is she really going out with him?

  1. In defense of Internet dating, I must say that I have met some wonderful people through it. There are some truly spectacular people in amongst the genetically deficient morass that constitutes the rest.

    But, then again, the same is true of every dating milieu: a few golden picks amongst a nasty mess of perverse, twisted and malign individuals.

    I have found that, as far as the Internet dating thing goes, that there are more “hits” than “misses” in comparison to, say, hanging around in bars.

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  2. yeah, me too, thanks a mill. Some day I’m going to come over and play the safety dance 800 times, see how you like that.

    you know, IMO, no matter how “over” you are a partner/ relationship, you still harbour an evil need to see them never find anyone as fantastic as you. Also, they should probably pine.

    It’s the law.

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  3. cedric: No doubt, but I would suggest that anyone who goes hunting for a missus in a bar stands a good chance of being hit.

    dolce: You forgot “bitter”

    betenoir: Ah, you’re just saying that ‘cos your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance – well, they’re no friends of mine.

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  4. Ha! Now according to Vincent Maher, whose blog posts ended up in the PE press (‘press’ is a loaded term), the mullets in PE are some of the well-known in the world.

    So…let’s hope she likes people who do business in the front and a party at the back.

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  5. I would defend PE against the gross generalization that we’re all mullet heads but, unfortunately, I know what most men are like here.

    If you’re a woman in PE, your chances are not good. It is a sad state of affairs that I represent Kyk’s ex’s best chances in PE but, unluckily for her, she’s not my type.

    She should visit the weekly stock car races for her other options.

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  6. peas: Unfortunately, no. She also has an aversion to tracksuits, so I foresee a bit of an uphill struggle.

    cedric: Don’t be ridiculous, you’re not all mullet heads (although not through lack of trying, if memory serves. You also made a strong attempt at achieving mullethood, not so?)

    xGW: Your secret is safe with god, I’m sure. Jesus, on the other hand, is a bit of a blabbermouth.

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  7. Thank god I met my husband the normal way, on top of Northcliff Hill, for sundowners. I asssumed of course that he was gay (back at the turn of the millennium, it was safer to assume that all men were gay unless otherwise proven).

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  8. So if I notice a proliferation on dating24 of ‘eligible young men’ in the PE area I’ll know it just you trolling.

    Not that there’s any reason I’d ever actually notice a proliferation in young men looking for dates in the PE area. I mean in a hypothetical sort of way if I was to…

    damn

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  9. Bar One!

    Oh, and we call the PE cut one of two things:

    1: When we’re feeling fancy, a Mullét (we’re planning a love story movie about a redheadded hill billy who falls in love with a cracker whore and calling it Mullét Rouge)

    2: A STASLOB (short top and sides, long on back).

    Australia was FULL of them.

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  10. Internet Dating – aaah, a sure way to find someone still in love with their significant other in rehab. Im sure the stories she is about to tell you will make you smile most sadistically ;o)

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  11. Hey, I met my fancy man on the Internet. Admittedly, his courtship method falls somewhere within the ‘I-will-stalk-you-mercilessly-until-you-agree-to-go-out-with-me-or-die‘ category. In fact, there’s a picture of him on Wikipedia. Emailing Ed Gein. I’m not complaining. I like my men persistent and reckless. Maybe a little dumb. I’m just saying that he doesn’t have to be that subtle next time. 😉

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  12. sarah: Ah yes. Almost a cliché, isn’t it?

    idlelayabout: Hotstudlover, is that YOU?

    dolce: Bar One. Hah! Takes me back, that does. Don’t worry, I’m also old and decrepit. Hmmm… a Mullét – it’s almost reason enough to grow one.

    lord wiggly: And there’s a virtually inexhaustible supply.

    mrs B: Lucky man. I think…

    xGW: “benbenben”

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  13. Ah cyber dating. Kind of Fear Factor meets Tales of the Unexpected. Sort of.

    Of course if she really wants to meet some interesting people she should try blogging 🙂

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  14. Laments & outpourings of public emotion in the modern man aside, this posts anti-PE blather intrigues.

    In a world where reality is fled from, in a quest for powder-puff comforting illusions, PE is fairly real.

    I view the dilemma those of your ‘ilk’ face within reality, with a little sympathy and a lot of rolling-in-the-gutter laughing, screwed your ex-wife, burp, fek, arse and general up-your-nose PE joi de vivre … (bring your shopping cart of fekken ha-ha values to the Eastern Cape, and we’ll learn you … smarty pants !) Mind, it ain’t pretty and you might get a nose-bleed… snookums !

    Suck on that in your ‘cybertrap’ metro-manic topdog, moral highground cash-flash Gauteng cesspool playground.

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  15. dolce: Implying? Why, I’m not implying anything.

    parenthesis: Interesting. Certifiable. Potayto. Potahto.

    avantgawd: I most certainly will. Incidentally, “…it ain’t pretty and you might get a nose-bleed…” is a rather succinct – and I dare say, poignant – description of good ol’ PE.

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  16. I thought the whole point of internet dating was that the person does not necessarily have to live in the same town as you to connect.
    So she’s not just limited to mullets in PE. She can tap into the global mullet network if she wants.

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  17. Um, what’s worse? Meeting the man of your life on an Internet dating site, or in club? And not just any club, I might add, (hypothetically speaking, of course), a gay club?

    No specific reason for the question, really…

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  18. Ghoulish glee is probably better than twisted and bitter, and the fact that you haven’t set about making up fake profiles in order to respond? also a good thing.

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  19. Rev – that not-so-rhetorical question is my story! 100% hetero, in a gay club. (it’s not the fact that it’s a gay club i’m embarrassed about, it’s the fact that it’s a club at all. we’re still working on a good story for the inevitable “where did you two meet?” question).

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  20. revo: There’s a global mullet network? Fuck, how cool is that?

    ant: Perhaps you & Sarah could compare notes before talking to Peas? I suggest you incorporate aliens and/or Mexicans into your “where did you meet?” story. Mexican aliens would be ideal.

    fence: Indeed. Besides, who’s got time for that sort of thing?

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  21. I’m glad to hear you two talk … even about subjects like this. [Giving each other hints how NOT to treat your paramours??]

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  22. ekke: True, but none of them are as punchy as “laser”

    anicker: That is just so wrong on so many levels.

    livewire: Cool. Can I have my webcam back now?

    the crutch: You been tapping my phone again? I thought we agreed we weren’t going to do that any more?

    ol’ hoss: Didn’t you say that scientists call this “too bad”?

    Like

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