Unclean! [clang clang]

Things got a little hot last week, so I had to lay low for a while. Yup, I was struck down with that “thing that’s been going around”+, or “ebola” if you prefer the ex Granny Wrangler’s long-distance diagnosis. Even my doctor seemed a bit puzzled. The unintelligible scrawl he eventually scribbled on the medical certificate (after much frowning, pen-chewing and staring out the window) looks more like a Blogger verification word than an actual disease++

For the first three days or so, my general low-level delirium was interspersed with vicious headaches and fever dreams featuring roller-skating infomercial people+++. At least, I assume they were dreams. Come to think of it, the kitchen floor has acquired some suspicious-looking scuffmarks and the bin seems to have vanished. Fortunately, I was reasonably compos mentis when my girlfriend came over for a visit (armed with soup and stern warnings of dire retribution should I fail to take it easy).

So now I’m back at work and sifting through about 400 e-mails, the majority of which fall into one of the following categories:

“Please comment”
“Why haven’t you responded to the e-mail I sent you yesterday for comment?”
“I’m still waiting for you to comment on the e-mail I sent you TWO DAYS ago”
“This is URGENT! I need a response IMMEDIATELY”
“I’m going to miss my DEADLINE! I’m CCing this to your boss”
“THE END TIMES ARE UPON US!!!”

*sigh*

I keep expecting to find that I own a small, bespectacled dog.

+ No, no, not Simon Grindrod, but good guess anyway

++ It roughly transcribes as: “Stckyrhdupyrarsndie“

+++ Kind of like first year university, when you get down to it

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26 thoughts on “Unclean! [clang clang]

  1. ..that would be awesome. If you could get sick and it would cause you to call forth Dogbert from out of the ether, , we’d all be ..licking homeless people..and…touching men’s room toilet seats.

    anyway, glad to hear you’re feeling better.

    Like

  2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks 🙂

    Like

  3. Luckily for you, makro is having a delightful sale on these really sassy little black flip-toppy pedal-pushed kitchen bins.

    So it isn’t all bad…

    Like

  4. I bought a really cool bin from Boardmans for R1100. I feel a rush of pleasure every time I click that nifty lid and chuck in a banana skin.

    Like

  5. pff.Stckyrhdupyrarsndie? I went to Paris for 10 days, just to get robbed (twice), thrown out of my hotel (wrong booking dates via travel agent, not rock&roll behaviour), to arrive back at work with 400 euros worth of missing receipts that they will not reimburse, 400 e-mails and a bug from Paris. Only there the doctor called it “Le Stckyrhdupyrarsndie”. Peachy. and yes, i would like some cheese with my whine. o.k. enough. what i meant to say is get better soon. o.keyyyy.

    Like

  6. betenoir: Awesome indeed. Sadly, my boss’s hair gets pointier by the day.

    xGW: Close. It was that lot who sell the health products that seemingly cure all diseases and make you pool blue at the same time.

    betenoir (again): Now, now. Even the Crypt Keeper needs a job.

    parenthesis: I’ll make a note in my calendar.

    martin: Good :mrgreen:

    dolce: A bit too crunchy for my taste.

    mrs B: I thought you might.

    ekke: That description sounds verrry familiar. Where were you last week? And can you prove you don’t rollerskate?

    revo: Not a single one. I can’t say for certain how many got snagged in the spam filter, though.

    sarah: I’d love to see what kind of toilet seat you have.

    louisa: I’m not sure I could stand the guilt. After all, someone will have to clean up the mess when all those heads explode.

    anicker: It kind of suggests a T-shirt slogan: ‘I went to Paris and all I got was this filthy attitude’?

    peas: Ja, me too. Could be worse, though. At least I don’t have Le Ebola.

    Like

  7. 400 emails? Pfft, amateur! I came back from hols to a whopping 2003. Granted, a good few were from the mail administrator telling me my mailbox was full – no sh*t, Sherlock!

    Like

  8. angel: With any luck you won’t get sick now. Laughter being the best medicine and all that.

    terri: Impressive, although bear in mind that I was only out of the office for three days.

    doll: 😉

    Like

  9. Yes I can prove.

    I have all the athletic ability of a blocked nostril.

    Hence, rollerskating is for other people.

    QED. (‘Look, I proved it. With graphs ‘n shit.)

    Like

  10. kevin: Me too. Zombie blogging is so passé

    chitty: Perhaps not all of them. My mom might take it amiss.

    ekke: Brilliant. A Ph.D in the making.

    katt & louisa: Hey, if the shoe fits…

    Like

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