Things got a little hot last week, so I had to lay low for a while. Yup, I was struck down with that “thing that’s been going around”+, or “ebola” if you prefer the ex Granny Wrangler’s long-distance diagnosis. Even my doctor seemed a bit puzzled. The unintelligible scrawl he eventually scribbled on the medical certificate (after much frowning, pen-chewing and staring out the window) looks more like a Blogger verification word than an actual disease++
For the first three days or so, my general low-level delirium was interspersed with vicious headaches and fever dreams featuring roller-skating infomercial people+++. At least, I assume they were dreams. Come to think of it, the kitchen floor has acquired some suspicious-looking scuffmarks and the bin seems to have vanished. Fortunately, I was reasonably compos mentis when my girlfriend came over for a visit (armed with soup and stern warnings of dire retribution should I fail to take it easy).
So now I’m back at work and sifting through about 400 e-mails, the majority of which fall into one of the following categories:
“Please comment”
“Why haven’t you responded to the e-mail I sent you yesterday for comment?”
“I’m still waiting for you to comment on the e-mail I sent you TWO DAYS ago”
“This is URGENT! I need a response IMMEDIATELY”
“I’m going to miss my DEADLINE! I’m CCing this to your boss”
“THE END TIMES ARE UPON US!!!”
*sigh*
I keep expecting to find that I own a small, bespectacled dog.
+ No, no, not Simon Grindrod, but good guess anyway
++ It roughly transcribes as: “Stckyrhdupyrarsndie“
+++ Kind of like first year university, when you get down to it
..that would be awesome. If you could get sick and it would cause you to call forth Dogbert from out of the ether, , we’d all be ..licking homeless people..and…touching men’s room toilet seats.
anyway, glad to hear you’re feeling better.
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was it more isabel jones or the “brand power, helping you by better” chick?
no *wonder* you were so ill.
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..at least it wasn’t “bonny’s best buys”. does anyone even remember that old clunker…brrr. creepy.
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Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks 🙂
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At least we know where the bin disappeared to. It’s so obvious.
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I love rollerskates.
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And who was roller-skating around your kitchen.
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Luckily for you, makro is having a delightful sale on these really sassy little black flip-toppy pedal-pushed kitchen bins.
So it isn’t all bad…
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What, 400 email messages and not one trying to sell you viagra??
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I bought a really cool bin from Boardmans for R1100. I feel a rush of pleasure every time I click that nifty lid and chuck in a banana skin.
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Hope you’re feeling much better now? Best way to deal with 400 e-mails is to purge and start with a clean page… 😉
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pff.Stckyrhdupyrarsndie? I went to Paris for 10 days, just to get robbed (twice), thrown out of my hotel (wrong booking dates via travel agent, not rock&roll behaviour), to arrive back at work with 400 euros worth of missing receipts that they will not reimburse, 400 e-mails and a bug from Paris. Only there the doctor called it “Le Stckyrhdupyrarsndie”. Peachy. and yes, i would like some cheese with my whine. o.k. enough. what i meant to say is get better soon. o.keyyyy.
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Shizen, ebola? Isn’t that when your insides discintegrate? Anyway, whatever it is Kyk, I sure hope you feel better soon!
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betenoir: Awesome indeed. Sadly, my boss’s hair gets pointier by the day.
xGW: Close. It was that lot who sell the health products that seemingly cure all diseases and make you pool blue at the same time.
betenoir (again): Now, now. Even the Crypt Keeper needs a job.
parenthesis: I’ll make a note in my calendar.
martin: Good
dolce: A bit too crunchy for my taste.
mrs B: I thought you might.
ekke: That description sounds verrry familiar. Where were you last week? And can you prove you don’t rollerskate?
revo: Not a single one. I can’t say for certain how many got snagged in the spam filter, though.
sarah: I’d love to see what kind of toilet seat you have.
louisa: I’m not sure I could stand the guilt. After all, someone will have to clean up the mess when all those heads explode.
anicker: It kind of suggests a T-shirt slogan: ‘I went to Paris and all I got was this filthy attitude’?
peas: Ja, me too. Could be worse, though. At least I don’t have Le Ebola.
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hoo boy, i’m glad you’re feeling better- but i think next time i am sick you can write the post for me, hysterical bru!
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400 emails? Pfft, amateur! I came back from hols to a whopping 2003. Granted, a good few were from the mail administrator telling me my mailbox was full – no sh*t, Sherlock!
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“girlfriend!”
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angel: With any luck you won’t get sick now. Laughter being the best medicine and all that.
terri: Impressive, although bear in mind that I was only out of the office for three days.
doll: 😉
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Those effing word verification things drive me insane! Eugh!
I heard Stckyrhdupyrarsnd is pretty deadly though. Glad you’re still alive!
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“Stckyrhdupyrarsndie“ seems a good response to each of the 400 emails.
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Yes I can prove.
I have all the athletic ability of a blocked nostril.
Hence, rollerskating is for other people.
QED. (‘Look, I proved it. With graphs ‘n shit.)
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Louisa, is it safe to use the word purging in the same context with ebola?
Glad you are feeling better, Kyk!
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Hahaha Katt – maybe not the very best choice of phrase.
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kevin: Me too. Zombie blogging is so passé
chitty: Perhaps not all of them. My mom might take it amiss.
ekke: Brilliant. A Ph.D in the making.
katt & louisa: Hey, if the shoe fits…
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Dang! Wish I had known you were short on emails. I coulda sent a couple or four.
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ol’ hoss: Gee thanks. I really can’t tell you how grateful I am.
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