Winter of discontent

Must. Not. Write. About. Weather.

Ah screw it, I have to. My colleagues are driving me bananas again. Okay, some of them.

Whenever I run into these individuals in the kitchen or the corridor, they feel compelled to make conversation. Nothing wrong with that, at least in principle. However, the sheer inanity of their chosen subject matter gives me a headache. I’m beginning to suspect that vast swathes of neurons are committing mass suicide so they won’t have to get involved.

Typical conversation:

“Sjoe, it’s cold, hey?”
“Uh huh”
“It rained a lot today”
“Uh huh”
“Ja, it might rain again tomorrow”
“Uh huh+

Of course it’s cold and wet. It’s cold and wet every sodding winter. Even the members of the Climate Denialist Society know this++. About the only Cape Town residents who may not have figured it out are career stoner hippies and the German tour group that got lost in the Castle dungeons earlier this year.

+ code for “IT’S WINTER, YOU FUCKING CRETIN!”

++ Although they’d probably deny it if you asked.

Advertisements

18 thoughts on “Winter of discontent

  1. German tourists got lost in The Castle’s dungeons? Oh, that wasn’t the point, was it?

    So, um, how’s the weather in the Mother City?

    I’m asking for it, I know. Leaving… promise.

    Like

  2. someone from Jozi sent me pictures of floods in Cape Town now that’s just rude! My colleagues spend half the day watching the cars sink under water in our parking lot and the odd fool who forgot and parked at the River Club wading out to rescue his vehicle and drive it thru the river to safety.

    Like

  3. dolce: Funny, you don’t look German.

    betenoir: Those wellies are exceedingly cool (and 1 bar = 100 kPa)

    mrs B: A common misconception.

    katt: I don’t want to ruin the surprise. It’ll be in your vicinity within the next day or so.

    xGW: It is. Just the other side of Crouch Lowly.

    charmskool: You’d think that the ‘river’ part of ‘River Club’ would clue them in, but nooooo…

    Like

  4. Kyk- You can always take the Phil Connors (Bill Murray in Groundhog Day) approach. Like, really talk about the weather. Start getting into an enormous amount of detail. Talk about Aristotle’s Meteorologica, numerical weather prediction, atmospheric pressure, fluid dynamics, Chaos theory, the history of the area, low pressure systems in the East, etc. They’ll probably never want to talk weather with you. They may even avoid you altogether from now on.

    Like

  5. peas: Ah, but that’s what they want you to think.

    del: How do you say “Damn, it’s cold” in Australian English?

    xGW: True, but I’m a child at heart.

    fatman: Brilliant! That’s an excellent strategy, ‘cos I’ve found that hoping my abrasive personality will keep people away is too random to be relied on.

    Like

  6. Well, at least you don’t have the “50 days and nights of rain” conversation going on. Course, it is supposed to be summer here, so you might think that we have grounds for legitimate complaints. But think again, because this is Ireland, land of soft rain, followed by drizzle, followed by a burst of sunshine, just to remind you of what you are missing, followed by yet more showers.

    Yea, I’m as guilty as the next person, weather is an obsession.

    Like

  7. I tend to forget about the whole northern hemisphere/southern hemisphere thing. It’s blazing here in NYC. I’ve lost 8 lbs simply from sweating. (I have no idea how to convert that to metric system or stones or farthings or whatever.) Let me know if the measurement throws you off–I’ll make sure to do a comedic set on your bewilderment!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s