For richer, for poorer…

I had a chat on the phone with my friend Mr Seagull the other night. I can’t quite understand how he manages to stay so upbeat in the face of his future ex-wife’s efforts to crush him utterly+. When I was going through similar (but considerably less severe) circumstances, I was like Eeyore on downers. In the rain.

Poor bastard. At the rate his account is haemorrhaging money, his bank manager must be feeling very ill indeed. I suspect the final divorce settlement will be over who gets custody of the pot to piss in, because there won’t be anything else left.

Still, although I’m pretty sure that being roughly shafted without lubrication is a decidedly unpleasant experience, if you consider that it’s the most “action” he’s had (albeit metaphorically) in over a year, it might explain his buoyant demeanour.

+ As one does when the bitterness starts to set in. I reckon she’s an absolute shoe-in to win the “Achiever of the Year” trophy when the Royal Society of Evil have their awards ceremony next month

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16 thoughts on “For richer, for poorer…

  1. i believe mbeki and zuma are doing a special guest appearance tap dance routine at the R.S.E dinner. i’d give my left testicle to be there. oh wait… no, never mind. it was the meth for breakfast talking again.

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  2. wow poor man I think we can introduce him to my best friend who’s lazy good for nothing outofworkheadupisarse husband even took the pot to piss in. Last seen she was hiding behind a bush next to her corrugated iron shack peeing into a hat (his)

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  3. xGW: Only the left? Oh, that’s not right.

    betenoir: …or he’s found religion …or he’s a masochist. Wait! Maybe he’s a masochist who has found religion? It all makes sense now!

    jeanpant: Hey, congrats to your boss. I wasn’t planning on going to the ceremony anyway.

    charmskool: At least she got a hat.

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  4. Never, ever marry in community of property. I just don’t get how people seem to ignore this little detail.

    Didn’t we all at least have some economics (or something related) at school?

    Then again, I just don’t get how people are getting married in general, so that figures.

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  5. He’s in denial…tell him admitting you have a problem is allegedly the first step to recovery (although from what I remember this does not hold true for divorces in general).

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  6. peas: Hey, just because half of all marriages fail doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing. People still buy raffle tickets where the odds are far worse.

    martin: My friend is married out of community of property, but that doesn’t mean the lawyers stop charging.

    louisa: Wait, how will admitting that I have a problem help him?

    ol’ hoss: You think you’re peeved, you should see his wife.

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  7. Just look how far you’ve come, Buddy – you didn’t mention the esteemed ex-Mrs Kyknoord once in this post – bet that wouldn’t have happened even 6 months ago..? You have done well, young Grasshopper.

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