25 thoughts on “In-flight entertainment

  1. sheesh… wish i could figure out what you’re saying when you’re not saying it…

    i figured out the following;
    you went on a trip, airplane, check;
    you were glad to say goodbye to the ex-inlaws, check;
    you sat next to a screaming baby on the airplane, check;
    you have a kid of your own, i didn’t know this!!!

    it’s monday… have mercy

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  2. nursemyra: Maybe. It depends on whether those Bose screech-cancelling headphones are all they’re cracked up to be.
    sheena: Ugh. Make sure you get yourself some earplugs and a gum-guard (unless you’re planning on flying Nationwide, in which case it probably won’t matter, ‘cos everyone will be screaming).
    stef: I sat next to two screaming babies.

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  3. Did they smell of poo? I did a 7 hour bus ride with Bles Bridges on the tape deck and a very smelly baby next to me.

    *gag*

    And let’s not talk about the flight from Tel Aviv to London next to the nervous Hasids who didn’t believe in deoderant. Nice.

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  4. dolce: Actually, I think you’ll find they do believe in deodorant: According to the Besht, “Let man realize that when he is looking at material things he is in reality gazing at the image of the Deity which is present in all things.”

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  5. The thing I found worked the best (and I hardly kid – no pun) was muttering “let me handle the little sucker, he’ll know what he’s crying about then.” under my breath.
    Parents usually walk away/change seats right about then.

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  6. so let me get this right – there were screaming babies on either side of you? unaccompanied? if that was the case, i’d have been looking for space in the overhead compartment.

    i’m with anne, though. either offering to help, or drawing yourself a nice molester mustache with a Sharpie on a trip to the lavatory and then offering to hold the little ones will get you an upgrade…

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  7. anne: The parents took one look at me and immediately tried to change seats, but the flight was full.

    platkuif: Don’t worry, my Afrikaans is terrible, so let’s call it even.

    del: The parents weren’t embarassed enough to offer financial compensation

    daisyfae: I’ve made a note for next time.

    ol’ hoss: That’s a tough ask. There’s more of them than us.

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  8. Mmm….I had that recently on a CPT-JHB flight.
    No problem, I’ll just self euthanase with alcohol, right??

    ‘Drinks, whiskey please’
    ??????
    Apparently SAA only serves wine and beer on domestic economy flights??? WTF?
    Not sure they have enough wine on the entire flight to dull my senses?

    ‘Ok, just give the kid 2 bottles of wine and we’ll call it even’

    If it wants to whine, then lets teach it to wine properly!!

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  9. Revo: never go to Eypyt then. Egypt Air serves no alcohol whatsoever. It makes for a fun thirteen hours I can tell you ….

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  10. Babies. They are EVERYWHERE. Let me guess: “I-know-what-half-of-SA-did-last-summer” was the in-flight movie? Well, if you don’t have one (a baby that is), are not trying for one, or flying with one, surely you should be allowed to act like one?

    “I will NOT sit next to: fatties / vegetarians who bring their own brand of smelly food on the plane / people with IBS / loners / weirdos / talkers with halitosis / first-time-flyers or anyone who’s had too much red wine, cigarettes or garlic in the past 24 hours”.

    Right. So all I have to do is figure out how to fly this damn thing.

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  11. revo: Euthanase? Noooooo, you have so much to live for!

    parenthesis: How ghastly. That’s more than half a season of 24. What would Jack Bauer do?

    dolce: Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

    anicker: I’d hold out for personal teleportation devices if I was you. Just make sure you fumigate regularly.

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  12. globus smugly enjoys the offspring of others misbehaving in public, it’s reassuring to know others face the same struggle. this is why globus now never takes his kids anywhere!

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  13. Pingback: Tempus edax rerum « the other side of the mountain

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