Gravity versus Finance

When it rains, water tends to collect in localised depressions.  We engineers call these things ‘puddles’.  When people build structures in large depressions, their carpets tend to get wet.  We engineers call these people ‘stupid’


33 thoughts on “Gravity versus Finance

  1. I am very disappointed too… 😦
    Another dream dashed! Don’t blame yourself – I’m sure if anyone could have done it it would have been you. *sniff*


  2. louisa: Now I know how Scotty in the original Star Trek felt.

    stef: If only. We have this whole ‘Code of Ethics’ thing that prevents us from taking money from stupid people.


  3. You are a genius – it’s just a pity that when they built our offices in Black River Park – the Terraces to be precise -they didn’t listen to you. We have to have our building entrance and basement parking “puddles” regularly pumped out in winter – and then there’s the leaking roof due to the building “moving” yay I love to work under an umbrella with my computer draped in a black bag.


  4. nursemyra: People keep saying that. I don’t know who to believe.

    charmskool: Hey, that’s just up the road from me – we should have lunch at the River Club sometime. Preferably before winter.

    cheap thrills: Much as I’d love to see your Amazing Snake Woman routine, a pair of gumboots and a bucket might be more useful.

    anicker: Oh really? Looks like second-year physics was a complete waste of time, then.


  5. Moncton, New Brunswick Canada. On Magnetic Hill the water alongside a country road does, indeed, appear to flow uphill. Sorry. Your boss was right. Back to it…

    (i’ve been there. naturally occuring optical illusion, but it’s really cool. if you’re a geek like me… husband and kids were ready to go after 5 minutes. made ’em stay almost an hour while i tried to figure it out!)


  6. daisyfae: I’m pretty good at optical illusions. When I’m in meetings, I’m able to make people believe that I give a shit.

    miss M: Chuck Norris shot the sheriff and then roundhouse kicked the deputy

    peas: Actually, for a hundred kajillion ronts we could install a big-ass freezer that makes ice frisbees and shoots them off into the Karoo. This is the option I prefer. Sadly, the client seems to be rather fixated on the idea of “digging a trench to drain the water.”


  7. Don’t forget the hydraulic ram. Install yourself a spring-loaded ‘clack’ valve and a non-return flap valve, with a closed reservoir (to act as a pressure tank), a standpipe, and you’re there.

    Or, you can use your deflector array to reverse polarity in all the hydrogen ions, like they’d do in Star Trek.


  8. digging a trench? are you fucking serious?

    is it too late to give him his money back and say “we don’t work for ‘tards”?

    then again, perhaps you can do some indoor landscaping, make it look like an architecturally created river, put some trained ducks in it (like the Peabody Hotel does) and charge them double…


  9. miss M: Time and tide wait for Chuck Norris. And Vernon Koekoemoer.

    uncle keith: Damn! We’re all out of dilithium crystals.

    daisyfae: If we could train the ducks to carry teeny-tiny buckets…


  10. I can never understand how people want to throw their money into water in the first place. Seriously, if you don’t bloody want it – give it to me!

    Yeah…your job sounds awesome!


  11. shebee: My job is awesome. I’m one of the only qualified puddle mechanics in Cape Town.

    nursemyra: So you’re saying, “trust me, I’m a… nurse?” Okay. That’s good enough for me. Unfortunately, it means it’s probably all downhill from here.

    miss M: Chuck Norris talks about Fight Club.

    dolce: Escher is dead. He fell up a flight of stairs.


  12. I have been working on the Hindu practice of sucking the urine back into my penis following extensive meditation. Once mastered, I shall move on to small streams, possibly in Moncton. Work with me, together we crack this one!


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