The respiratory system is like a series of tubes

and into the fray leaps yours truly to save the day (and coincidentally, a reader of this blog)  Hi Mrs T!  I’m glad you’re not dead

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32 thoughts on “The respiratory system is like a series of tubes

  1. nursemyra: C’mon, isn’t it obvious that I like to employ garden path tactics?

    bridget: Look, if you really want to know, these will give you an idea.

    stef: It’s a Batman outfit. Jeez!

    parenthesis: I like to surf the edge of meaning. You know that.

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  2. Oh my god. Quit the theatre, get into movies. They clearly need someone to remind them of the whole “saves the day then cracks a joke” concept.

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  3. Me too. Gerbils? Sounds ever-so-slightly perverted. It’s reassuring tho’ that you enhance your superhero status with performances of paramedic derring-do. I felt you were more of a Spiderman persona – sorry for the type-casting.

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  4. You forgot the rest of the story, Kyknoord. Like the geyser who came afterwards asking the poor thing whether she could please choke again. Then HE (the geeza) could put his hands on her breasts! As the guy did who unsuccessfully tried a not so “Heimlich” on her BEFORE YOU came to the rescue … Jeez, what a bunch of drama queens!

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  5. daisy: It only crossed my mind after the fact. I had to settle for surreptitiously lining his jacket pockets with pecorino cheese.

    anne: Or, in this case, a rib (almost).

    miss M: To be honest, I wasn’t really listening.

    charmskool: He may have said “gherkins”. Actually, I think that’s worse. By the way, red isn’t really my colour.

    crutch: Well yes, I suppose I could have mentioned them, but then this wouldn’t have been all about me, would it?

    uncle keith: True, but it’s that miniscule percentage that makes it all worthwhile. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves.

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  6. Dear Dr Kyk,

    I have been following your work in gerbil removal and choking techniques with great interest. As a big fan of yours, i was just wondering, how do you remove someone’s head if it is stuck up their own ass?

    I don’t think the Heimlich manoeuvre will work for this one and it seems to be a fairly common phenomenon?

    yours sincerely,

    Dr A

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  7. Dr A: This is a difficult one. The Hindkick manoeuvre sometimes works, but in most cases, by the time the condition occurs, irreversable brain damage has already taken place.

    mrs B: I know! How cool is that?

    daisy: Hah! If you were really choking, you wouldn’t have managed to say “Help! Batman!” I’m wise to your wily ways.

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  8. Can you plesae provide a few more details on how the gerbil was extracted? We have a best practice database here we are keen to expand.
    Dr. Beaverboosh, OSLO West Emegency Ward

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  9. My colleague Dr. Klaus Sausagejockey from Germany informs me that feltching is alive and kicking in the upper regions of Bavaria. He claims that shaving and declawing is for pussies and is only done in Holywood.

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  10. miss M: Hell, what wasn’t he doing with that gerbil?

    ~m: Michael, you wound me deeply. We’re all theoretically, at least adults here.

    revo: I think it’s a professional thing.

    upset waitress: Just the one, but I’m sure a full recovery will be possible after a few years of therapy.

    Dr Beaverboosh: Apparently, the dinner menu included curried cabbage…

    daisy: I think technically it only counts as felching if you put the gerbil in a blender prior to insertion.

    upset waitress (take 2): They’re both on my to do list. I’ll get back to you with a full report and happy easter to you too.

    Dr Beaverboosh (2nd opinion): The upper regions of Bavaria? Is that what we’re calling it these days?

    ol’ Hoss: Animal lover, or choker of pasta?

    dolce: Yup. Serious business. The theory is that you won’t choke on stage.

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  11. Pingback: Tempus edax rerum « the other side of the mountain

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