Dead wood

Where do I see myself five years from now?  Do I *look* like I have crystal balls?
Update:
Happy bath day to La Dolce Vita. Congratulations! It’s so important to take a bath at least once a year, whether you need it or not.

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23 thoughts on “Dead wood

  1. Crystal balls would be pretty bloody brilliant, though, wouldn’t they?

    Just rub them gently, and they’ll show you the future, baby….no really…a little harder. Yeeeeeaaaahhhh.

    Ooops.

    I just gutterized your blog.

    Sorry. 😦

    P.S. You said wood. Nhur. Nhur.

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  2. of course, nobody says anything aout THEM wasting weeks on such folderol as evaluating your capacity to delegate tasks.

    delegate THIS Mother&*^%er.

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  3. Ah yes, performance appraisal. I remember the days when I thought they mattered. Who gives a toss! One day I’ll introduce you to our company’s own form of torture; G Force and the Personal Development Plan! An evil creation of the HR Dark Lord. Crystal balls must be quite a liability? Hmm I wonder if I can create a new insurance product to cover those? That will look good on my….aw naah too much like hard work.

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  4. duuuuuuuuurty rocks!

    every time i hear the phrase “dead wood” my bark crawls. when my boss asked me what my “dream job” is? he was a little taken aback by the response “singing back up for Joe Cocker”. Quickly gaining his composure, he asked “is he still alive”. i didn’t hit him with the “Stapler of Justice”….

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  5. dolce: That’s my girl!
    betenoir: Folderol is such an appropriate word.
    charmskool: I suspect we have aliens running our HR department. No other explanation makes sense.
    nursemyra: Me too! She does it so well.
    miss M: A little bit heavy on the honesty there. You’d make a lousy politician.
    daisy: My aim is to become the dead wood so that they’ll have to employ a management consultant to get rid of me.

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  6. It’s questionable whether HR is, in fact, “resourceful”. The “human” part is a no brainer. And we don’t manage peformance, we talent manage. Bollo- I mean bal- I mean crystal globes, to the left of me, etc etc.

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  7. stef: *clink clink*
    parenthesis: “Performance management” always sounds like a bedroom workstudy exercise to me.
    miss M: Oh good. At least that’s settled.

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  8. miss M: They never do. Unless it’s billable time.
    selfconfessedwhore: That was for the first half. Then the bin filled up.
    dolce: I know :mrgreen: My demon tells me that all the time.
    ~m: I’m glad you asked! Buy a motorcycle & you’ll firm up in no time with all the involuntary butt clenching from negotiating rush-hour traffic.

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