Sorry, but your policy doesn’t cover claims

On the plus side, they’re *extremely* efficient at deducting my premiums every month

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25 thoughts on “Sorry, but your policy doesn’t cover claims

  1. LOL i was waiting for this!!… i must be psychic!…

    you’re insured with the big bad purple monster aren’t you??? i rather pay a little more, but my yellow umbrella really does cover everything, i even have the tshirt! 🙂

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  2. i think nursemyra is onto something. screwed, fucked and battered… milked for all your worth… seems to me this is just in the cards for you these days! ask your claims adjustor for breakfast and flowers, maybe a foot rub and to have your pajamas warmed in the dryer before bedtime…

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  3. dolce: What is the sound of one hand rubbing?
    katt: Mine’s also pretty old, but it still doesn’t fit very comfortably.
    nursemyra: Balance in all things.
    idlelayabout: Who says I can’t multitask?
    shebee: Not true. I spend hours and hours in meetings.
    stef: BZZZZZT! Wrong, but thank you for playing anyway. If I was you, I’d be just a tiny bit worried that there may be holes in the umbrella.
    daisy: Ugh. That’s just wrong.
    charmskool: Oh, puh-leez! Are you trying to suggest that insurance brokers are in it for anything other than the munnee? I’m trying really hard not to mention things like ticks feasting on the blood of society. Oops, too late.
    evylshnukums: I’m starving. What did you have for lunch?

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  4. Excuse me!!?? Some insurance brokers take their clients welfare very seriously. After all where the heck do you think all that money is going to come from if we lose our clients? Huh? Huh? Kyk you called me a tick?! Next time we do coffee I’m gonna give you a demo of my bloodsucking prowess nyhur hur snork. Bring along a bandaid hardehar….

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  5. as The Boyfriend would say: “Why didn’t they just bend me over and ass-fuck me? It probably would have been less painful.”

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  6. charmskool: Sorry, my health insurance doesn’t cover bandaids.
    uncle keith: They also have higher moral standards.
    peas: No, but that hasn’t stop them from spamming me.
    unbearable banishment: Well, there’s rice cakes…
    thrills: Had a hard life, has he?

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  7. The problem with insurance is that, often the entire policy is made up of fine print. And might as well be written in invisible ink, for all the good it does one. And no doubt this has done for the no claim bonus. Guess you’ll have to wait for those furry dashboard dice until next year, eh? 😆

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  8. wha-a-a-a-a-a-at? you paid premiums for years and then you actually expected them to just pay out your claim and send you a cheque? foolish kyknoord. foolish. foolish. foolish.

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  9. parenthesis: It’s always nice to have something to look forward to.
    gnukid: Looks like I’m bending over forwards to do my civic duty.
    robin: Not so much. My policy doesn’t provide lube.
    rob: Foolish to fault. A fool and his money…

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  10. Insurance companies are always nice… they will phone , email, post..

    ..till you make a claim.. Then they move, change their number and plead Alzheimer’s when they see you..

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  11. The small print – she’s a bitch. You need the Hubble Telescope to read that shite. And when you do it is written in early pre-Christ, pre-Latin Latin infused with subliminal codes that instantly put you to sleep. Insurance. Or no insurance. Either way you’re screwed.

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