A little birdie told me

Also, I don't see why I should do all the hard work.  That's what stalkers are for
As cults go, Twitter is relatively benevolent, but I am still astonished by the missionary zeal that infuses people when they discover that I’m not one of the converted.

“B-b-but why?” they ask+, totally unable to comprehend why anyone could possibly not wish to be assimilated into the great collective soul of teh interwebs. This is invariably followed by a pointless and unbelievably tiresome argument about how true salvation can be found in 160 characters or less.

Common reasons advanced for signing up:

1. But even my grandmother does it!
2. Really famous people like Britney are on Twitter!
3. But you have a blog!
4. Just try it and you’ll see!

I particularly like number 3 and 4. It’s as if blogging is the entry drug to the real thing. Kind of like the relationship between Lindor and heroin.

The fact remains that my life generally isn’t all that interesting on a day-to-day basis++. If I’m going to whine about how much I hate my job, I’d rather do it in a three-panel comic format. It comforts me.

Speaking of assimilation, if you haven’t already done so, I would be most grateful if you would please vote for Dolce by clicking on the blinky below:

I have also taken the liberty of selecting a few other worthies, so you don't need to.  You can thank me later
+ and I think we all know the answer to THAT particular question by now
++ particularly now that Dolce is in London

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79 thoughts on “A little birdie told me

  1. WTF is a borg award? I mean, I’m cool with voting for them but if a Arnie-in-Terminator look alike turns up at my door and wants to kick my ass because I didn’t vote for him then I am definitely pointing him in the general direction of CT (far, far away) and telling him to go find you… screw duty of care and all that…

    (trying to not make geek comments about how cool it would be to date a borg…not.really.succeeding…)

    Like

  2. I hate that I’m on Facebook. I hate that I feel the need to check it every hour. One of these days, Alice, one of these days…

    Good for you for not giving in to that pressure.

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  3. I tried Twitter for about three weeks last spring and couldn’t stand it.

    I won’t even START with Facebook. It’s a popularity contest. I barely survived high school. I already know I’m not popular.

    I am happily standing on the pier waving fare-thee-well while the good ships Twitter and Facebook set sail without me.

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  4. finding facebook to be an interesting bubble – as a result, met up with friends from 30 years ago for some finger pulling, drunken debauchery and all that and it was big fun. am also connected to cousins that lived several hundred miles away, and we’re planning a cousins weekend summer.

    other than that? it’s my dorky theater friends trying to out-goof each other, and it’s amusing. i don’t take it too seriously, and have fun with it. and don’t post anything REMOTELY close to my actual life…

    face it. you’re just a turd in the punchbowl of life. i admire you for sticking to your turdy guns…

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  5. I looked at Twitter, and thought it was retarded. That means the entire world is retarded. I knew it!

    I voted! Yay Dolce!

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  6. Have no desire to do Twitter–just a bunch of ninnies twattering around w/ no direction in life. Had to join facebook to see a friends pictures and read up about her but hate it and don’t participate in daily activities–which by the way seem to be a plenty–too much flutter and nonsense if you ask me…
    AANNDD–I will have you know that I voted for Dolce, Peas and YOU–did you see–you’re there too…figured “why not” if I’m there might as well–Good luck to all of you =)

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  7. I find Twitter intriguing. Which might be linked to the fact that i don’t understand Twitter. But if i was on it, chances are (slim but there) that i would understand. Hence not find it intriguing anymore. Why kill the mystique?

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  8. I’m attempting twitter- Neen claims it is THE happenin professional tool, but, really, it just makes me feel like a tool.
    I pretty much loathe the way people truncate their sentences, and end up sounding like six year olds “Am v happy, yay me its Mon” And I feel like a fraud for doing it.
    I’m a recovered fb junkie- been through the full 12 steps. Freedom!

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    • scott: The only time it’s cool to be a tool is when you’re a TOOL OF SATAN *thunder rumble* Then again, some people claim Twitter is the devil, so maybe it is cool after all.

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  9. Duly voted.

    I facebook. Don’t twitter though. Annie is doing an experiment with it. Apparently it can be a good tool for professional networking. Just don’t do a “Cisco fatty”.

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  10. Am totally with you on the Twitter thing. Facebook and status updating takes enough time out of my day, with Twitter I’d be almost 1000% unproductive.

    Can’t. Be. Arsed. Don’t. Care. If. Prince. William. Is. On. It.

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  11. i got sucked in by an editor using no.4 and am now on twitter to rub virtual shoulders with other writers and promote the column. it is awful. so awful that i can not include it on my blog as a feed. i have, like, 3 followers because i couldn’t be arsed (ha ha good one) to update like the overzealous freak that twitter requires to ‘work’ (and you’ll see) only good thing to come of it that i AM actually hooking up with other people in the industry. but that’s been taken over into email. so it’s like twitter is the gate…ah christ. i’m already typing too much about this…

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    • dorothy: Ja, we only have so much time on earth. Not sure I want to spend it welded to my computer or phone typing brainless pronouncements like “reading latest steven king. hold on, must turn page. ok i’m back”

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  12. Twitter… is what it is.. Whehter you are “arsed about it” or not..

    I like knowing stuff.. and even though I don’t really contribute like others who have 2 Gizillion followers or so who hang on their every word.. I read when I see something interesting and get to find out about shit. This help’s since I do not have the TV neveryoumind the bloody DSTV.. So I gets my information where I can 😉

    Oh and because I can!

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  13. I’m still waiting for my opportunity to use your 2 reasons at work. Consequences be damned, I just know it will be completely satisfying…

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  14. What, Cayennetology doesn’t have it’s own social network?

    You know that recruitiig by standing at an intersection swearing sackcloth and shouting ‘Repent, Repent’ is sooo old-school!

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  15. Already voted for the lass 🙂

    And yes I Facebook. Ya take the good with the bad…
    For me, its a great way to stay in touch / keep updated with family and some close friends in SA, Canada and the UK.
    For the rest (all the other Fb contacts I’m too polite to ignore/defriend), I just set Fb to show me less of their inane prattle.

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  16. Facebook, Vleisboek, Fuckbook. I tried to ignore all the poking and sheep throwing gifts, group invites and best friend quizzes at first, but the final straw was the random friend invites from people you tried to avoid most of high school – including your lesbian English teacher. So. Twitter, Twatter, Twats? Get poked.

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  17. Kyknoord, I voted for you, too. I only mentioned that I voted for Dolce. I didn’t want you to feel neglected.

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  18. wow… This whole twitter topic is like that special VD you get and never leaves.

    been following your blog for awhile and i just want to say thanks for simplifying a lot of things.

    would you please follow my twitter? /fail.

    Like

  19. Pingback: The lines in the sky « La Dolce Vita

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