Past tense

Hah!  Maybe I've already done it?  Remember me now?
A couple of days ago, Andrew dropped in a for a brief visit. He happened to notice that I still have my wedding photographs up on the wall and he mentioned that this seemed a bit odd – what with me being happily divorced and all.

(I’m actually thinking about putting a caption under the frame, but I’m torn between “Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it” and just plain old “Fail” )

This steered the topic conversation towards the question of time-travel. As these things do. I’ve always figured that if I could go back, I would naturally provide my past self with useful information like stock tips, Lotto numbers and the identity of my wife-to-be. Now since I am not filthy rich and I didn’t run away screaming when I was introduced to my ex-wife for the first time, I can only assume that future-me will never have access to the requisite technology (for this timeline, at any rate).

So does this mean that time travel doesn’t happen? Of course not. Andrew was able to argue the case most convincingly. In answer to my question, “So where the fuck are all the time-travellers then?”, he posed an elegant counter-question: “Dude, have you been to Camps Bay lately?”

Good point.

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52 thoughts on “Past tense

  1. OMG, I would go back in time and tell me to f- everything in sight! You get married one day, and sure, the sex is great, but all those sexy boys I passed. Damn.

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  2. The first error is assuming that anyone with the ability to shift time would stay HERE. Dr Who has taught me otherwise. Hmm, would I rather be shopping at Century City, or liquidised by a Dalek?
    No brainer!
    Parenting three children is remarkably like Groundhog Day.

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  3. i ‘time travel’ frequently. i get drunk. i regain consciousness in the future. obviously, i’ve transcended time.

    haven’t yet figured out how ‘forward’ time travel is going to make me rich or get me laid, however. it’s the ‘backward’ stuff that is most lucrative.

    time travel FAIL [thud]

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    • daisy: Can’t you assign some minions to the project? I know budgets are tight these days, but surely you have some “discretionary spending” leeway?

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  4. Dude. (said with WTF expression on face)
    Wedding pics still up this far down the line?

    While not wanting to repeat earlier mistakes is laudable, ya gotta move on some time.

    Since you have absolutely nothing better to do before the lass gets back, best you replace them with suitable Dolce pics.

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    • daemoncoder: So let me see if I’ve got this straight – “moving on” means removing all evidence of my marriage? Just clarify one point for me: I’m not entirely comfortable with killing my daughter, so is it acceptable if I just refuse to see her?

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      • Ouch.

        It dawned on me after I posted (I rue the fact there is no edit function), that Mini-Kyk factored in your reasoning.

        The last time I got divorced, I purposely left _all_ the wedding pics with her, but there were no kids, so it was (relatively) easy closing that chapter.

        OTOH, having had some experience with the ladies, it is my experience that they don’t appreciate the likeness of one’s ex, even when its kept in a dusty album, so I think Andrew isn’t entirely off base either. Pics of one’s kids tho’, are generally viewed positively.

        And Kyk, ein bischen relaxen? I didnt suggest anything of the kind about distancing your good self from your daughter, man.

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        • The point I was trying (and clearly failing) to make is that we are the sum of our history. That is all. The last part of my disclaimer is applicable here.

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          • And I’ve got two ex-step mothers, a couple of common-law-ex-step-sisters and a host of current step-folk. Not to mention my own raft of ex-plonkers who feature in my wall hangings. So the odd ex-wife lurking about on the plasterwork doesn’t phase me in the slightest.

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            • Ah the pro’s and con’s of blogging 😎

              I thought I’d offended Kyk, even if Kyk had reacted similarly to Andrew 😈 , Andrew would have had the benefit of visual conversation cues.
              Blog commenters dont have the benefit πŸ™„ of falling back on a disclaimer, we can but only pepper our comments with various smilies to indicate our intended level of tongue-in-cheekness πŸ˜‰

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  5. When I get bored, I often think about the tao of a time machine. But I’m a bit leary of that whole “beat of a butterfly’s wings” so even though my decision making s-u-c-k-e-d, I wouldn’t be who I am today had it not been for poor judgment.

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  6. My boss certainly is under the impression that I can time travel. Not only am I expected to be in two places at once, I’m also expected to travel to the future to see what he will be thinking about a project, but bring that knowledge back into the present to magically make it all happen before he’s even thought it.

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  7. We make mistakes through our lives. There is no point in getting rid of the evidence..How will we remember and learn from them. I often think that I wish I hadn’t married my ex–but then I wouldn’t have my sons or have been more aware of what does and doesn’t work in a marriage. My hubby and I both have ex’s and we try all the harder to keep our relationship more open and evened out this time around.
    No point in time travel-it would cause a riff in the whole universe.

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  8. I would surely make some pith comment abot time travel and haha how you actually posted this from the future and blah blah oh how we would laugh. but I’m tired and a bit hungover so. nice post yay!

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  9. China, Camps Bay isn’t time travel. Unless of course, plastic is the entirety of time travel πŸ™‚

    Fail – teeehhheeeee, you should do it, just because it’s….amusing-like πŸ™‚

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  10. Pingback: Let me get back to you on that « the other side of the mountain

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