The spirit and the letter

This is probably why I hate lawyers.  They're better at it than I am
Some people contemplate the meaning of life. I have my sights set a little lower: I ponder the meaning of sentences. It’s probably a good thing I’m not a genie.

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39 thoughts on “The spirit and the letter

  1. [Ponders a naughty double entendre or two about rubbing genies and wish fulfillment]

    The thing I’ve observed about divorces is that you *never* stop paying.

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  2. He’s obviously asking for a reason, so you should actually say: “Nothing really, quite cheap and easy. Just let her lawyers handle everything, and make sure you sign everything they want you to.”

    Then sit back and watch his life disintegrate.

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  3. Whenever someone from the office asks me: “Can i ask you a personal question?” i usually vary between two possible replies:

    1: “yes, i do work out”
    2: “they are real”

    but of course, there are many more spicier answers, i just feel more comfortable with those 2 in the office environment.

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  4. just the “beans” not the “frank”…boy, you got off easy..
    My hubby also knows that I’m not after him for his money..some of us will pay just about anything to get out when things get too bad. We both did and have had the last laugh ever since then. (I paid my ex to get out because he was/is a loser)

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  5. There’s no point to divorce. If I get sick of Adam, I’ll just have him killed. It’s so easy! You just go on a cruise! People fall off those boats constantly.

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    • the spear: Yeah, I tell my mother that I’m a bouncer at a brothel. I don’t think she could live with the shame if she knew what I really do for a living.

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  6. I must say.. I just hate it when people think its ok to ask the most insanely ridiculous and personal questions… Why dont they just go off and fucken find out the good ol fashioned way like everyone else and just do it?

    Nothing like first hand experience dontcha know?

    Shit.. i am still swearing.. be back soon.

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    • b: There are ways to keep costs down, but nobody is really interested in advice, they simply want someone to vindicate the decision they’ve already made.

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  7. Just monetary costs, or the expense of having your emotions cauterised, the dodgy motels you stay in when thrown out, and the endless ramen that form the diet of the newly divorced?
    Divorce lawyer? 25% of all assets- becoming a pariah at PTA meetings? Priceless.

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  8. It’s a bit like when you ask someone for advice and then they are offended if you don’t take it. Why should I be obligated to take advice just because I asked for a second opinion? It’s your fault if your advice was crap.

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