One of my colleagues has taken to reading the daily horoscopes. This led to the latest outbreak of stupidity you see portrayed in today’s three-panel drama.
The interesting thing is that it makes no difference which part of the Zodiac I claim squatting rights to, because the inevitable response is, “I knew it”. Look, as arbitrary systems of personality classification go, it’s as good as any other. Physiognomy and Phrenology are equally random, equally effective and equally moronic.
I know it would be a lot easier to nod and smile and go with the flow, because people are going to believe whatever the hell they want to believe anyway. It’s just that something perverse in my makeup prevents me from going that route.
I guess it must be because I’m a typical Cancerian.
the other side of the mountain 
I like the guys who “communicate” with the dead best. What a trick! Their prey is always someone hurting or looking for answers. Vipers. …typical Cancerian Me too! July 8.
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Are you angling for a birthday present?
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No. A national holiday.
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I’ll see what I can do. Zambia seems open to the idea.
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tell him you’re on the cusp of Leo and Taurus, with the moon rising up Uranus… should distract him for at least 10 minutes…
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I usually tell them I subscribe to the Corporate Zodiac. I’m on the cusp of Nervous and Breakdown.
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Too fucking true…of course this had to be said by a Cancer. Bwahahahahaha. Funny post though.
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I’ve always thought of myself as a pox rather than a cancer.
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I hear your dead relatives trying to speak, did some one die of a sickness? They are older . .
I could do John Edwards!
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Malach! Ooooh, that’s uncanny. How did you know?
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I knew it!
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Of course you did. Wanna feel the bumps on my head?
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Ah, a fellow Cancer. I knew it.
OK. The Western Zodiac is dumb, but the Chinese year animals are soooo true. I am such a rabbit.
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My colleagues tell me I’m a cock.
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Cancerian? You’re lying again, aren’t you!
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No, no, it’s true (and of course I’ll respect you in the morning).
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You always were a crabby old bastard!
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Lies! I bathe almost every day, whether I need to or not.
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Crikey! I would have said Virgo
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Ah, close enough.
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those of us who hold grudges together, stick together.
Unless you’re lying about the mid-June to mid-July, in which case, I will be mad at you for months.
And horoscopes for team building?
Really?
“You’ll face a challenge today dear (insert Zodiac sign)…”
Feh.
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How many months?
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Cancer June 22-July 22
This might be a good week to wear a disguise. Naked is good. Try to stay focused. Spiders can strike at any time! Stop singing “the Dawn of Aquarius” in the shower. It may lead to premature balding. Remember that bump on your head that you meant to check a while ago? Don’t worry about it. Really.
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I knew you were going to say that.
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well..apparently my job is going great, I’m up for all kinds of wonderful career rewards, and the month of April ended on a high note for me.
Too damn bad I haven’t had to work in over 3 yrs and my hubby turned in his resignation at the end of April and we are now trying to sell our house in a crappy economy and find him a new job while we work on getting our shit together before we move to AUE
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Bummer. Incidentally, my uncle just turned in his grave.
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ooppss..that should say..UAE..good god..maybe I should go back to school instead of a job. Harvard–here I come.
what can I say to flip him back?
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I love Asstrology.
I love Cancerians.The benign kind mostly.
I think this week is turning out exactly what the galaxy had in mind for this Libra – i have already won won the UK lottery 4 times (without even entering!).
As for you – Mr Crab….
Q: What’s worse than a lobster on your piano?
A: Crabs on your organ.
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Ja, that’s bound to make you feel lousy.
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I’m a Virgo, which is fairly appropriate, as I haven’t gotten any in forever.
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hey, i tried…
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So did Mick Jagger.
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Astrological signs/meanings are like Chinese fortune cookies – sort of interesting to hear but then you (I) promptly forget them.
I’m a Cancer – totally off the cusp…
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Off the cusp? Would that make you Ad-Libra?
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yes, favy line to young girls into astrology – “planet penis is in conjuction with your anus”…
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Or, to use Anicker’s expression, Asstrology.
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I dated someone for a while who would occasionally say things attributing various things about me to my astrological sign. Fortunately he had the kind of body that made all that tolerable.
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A heavenly body?
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I’ll show you a sign.
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Another one? My cup truly runneth over.
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But it does seem like only an Aquarius could come up with Renal Failure.
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My sister’s an Aquarius, but she specialised in aneurysms.
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my throat hurts.
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